Perfect Day

Today is a perfect day to have a perfect day. 
A friend shared this thought with me awhile ago, and ever since I find it comes to mind frequently.  Today I want to share it with you.
Every day begins perfect.  It is new, fresh and ready.  It is a full 24 hours that has never before been available to be used or enjoyed.   It is perfect, clean and untouched, simple in appearance.  Today is a clean slate as yesterday or the past are gone.   Today holds only opportunity. It starts perfect and ends perfectly each time.  
 It is what you do with the day or more importantly how you perceive the happenings and events which occur, or choices and wishes for the day that make it appear as less than perfect. Remember too, sometimes what does not appear as perfect may indeed be perfect, if not for you for someone else or a reason you may not understand in the moment.  If at any moment it appears less than perfect, you can stop, change your view or change your choices. 
Take a few moments right now and think about what you consider a perfect day to be. Does part of your day involve spending time with family or friends? Are you at home, work or somewhere you have been yearning to go?  Is there a portion of your perfect day that is spent relaxing or do you see yourself creating something of value you have not had the time or support to accomplish?  Are you using talents and strengths you feel someone doesn't know about or are you able to do something freely without feeling stress someone will be judging it?  Are you surrounded by nature or strolling leisurely through a museum or gallery or favorite shop?  Would you dine alone or with friends? Would you wake early to take advantage of all hours of the day or would you enjoy turning off the alarm in order to catch up on missed sleep?  Is there a little laughter and fun or are you content to  make it through the day worry and problem free?
Chances are, like most people, you found that there was no single perfect day, but a variety of things you wish you could do or enjoy more often. Did you see how even one choice made the difference?  Did you realize how perfect each day may already be for you? Hopefully, what you discovered is your power to make each day perfect by looking for or creating one moment (or more) you feel is perfect. 
This is a perfect day for you to have a perfect day.  Mine is already perfect because I am able to share with you. 

Challenge Yourself



 

When someone suggests a challenge what do you normally think about?
 For many the word triggers negative feelings and thoughts.  Do you picture something hard? Do you shake at the thought of doing something whether you want to or not?  Do you envision yourself in competition and losing?  Do you worry that you might not be able to meet the expectations set?  Do you expect to be laughed at or ridiculed for failing? Do you feel inferior in some way and afraid?
Or are you one for which the word triggers a feeling of excitement?  Do you get anxious to show you are better than someone else?  Do you feel anticipation of something exciting about to begin?  Do you look forward to trying something you may have never done before?
I hope you are the latter, however if you are not, that is OK.  The majority of people I have encountered through the years would find them themselves in the first category, experiencing fear and trepidation. 
The truth is Challenges are a part of everyday life.  You don't always get to pick them, but you do always get to face them.  How you meet the challenges you are given or the ones you give yourself is your choice.  You can develop the skills to master each one in the perfect way for you.  That does not mean that you will always come out the winner, be the best or achieve perfection, but you will always learn and be better in some way.
Among the definitions of Challenge found in Merriam-Webster dictionary are:

• to demand as due or deserved
• to dispute especially as being unjust, invalid or outmoded
• to confront or defy boldly
• to arouse or stimulate especially by presenting with difficulties
• to invite into competition

The best person to create a challenge for you is you.  No one knows or understands you better.  No one knows better than you what you dreams, wishes and hopes are or the person you want to be now or in the future.   No one knows better than you what your strengths or weaknesses are and how they affect your present circumstances.  Finally no one knows better than you the choices you make each day that either keep you where you are or move you in new directions. 
Thinking about the definitions above, what kind of challenge could you give yourself at this time? Keep in mind, it does not have to be hard, unless you enjoy facing hard challenges.  It does not have to look a certain way.  Remember this is something for you not for someone else so as long as it works for you it doesn't matter how someone else may see it.  It is OK to have fun, to laugh, to incorporate something unusual or to enjoy the process. 
What is it you feel you deserve?  What do you want right now you don't feel you have?  What is it you have wanted but put off because of someone or something else in your life?  Challenge yourself to treat yourself to one thing that comes to mind.  Challenge yourself to do something nice for you.  It might be as simple as taking that long bath you wanted, going to the gym or buying a new outfit.  The challenge may be nothing more than one time saying no to someone so you can say yes to you. 
What is it you have thought more than once about changing?  Is it something about you? Something in your home you wish you could replace or feel you don't need any longer?  What is it about you, your surroundings or relationships you could work on removing, updating or improving?  Maybe it is finally throwing out an article of clothing you have worn for so too many years to admit and buying one that is not so threadbare to replace it.   Updating your home may be as simple as adding a new plant, some new pillows, hanging a new picture or buying a colorful fleece blanket to throw over a favorite chair you just can't bear to part with.   Maybe your challenge is to improve a relationship and all the effort it requires is one smile a day
What is it about you would like to learn, improve, be better at?  What would you like to do more often.   What would it take to arouse or stimulate your passion?   Buy a $2.00 set of children's watercolors and  let your creativity erupt.  There is nothing that triggers a desire to go fishing like finding a new lure or a new wilderness spot.  Challenge yourself to find one "how to" book on something someone said you might not like.  You will be surprised how wrong they were.  
Challenge yourself.   Do it today, tomorrow and even the following day.  Make it fun.  Make it worthwhile.  Make it personal.  Most of all make it fun and easy.  Enjoy one challenge and find out how enjoyable it can be to do it again and again.  Then stand back and look at what occurs and smile.  You Did It. 

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/challenge

Anger Management- Sit Down and Think

Both my sister and my daughter shared this on Facebook.  I couldn't help but chuckle, and I hope you do too.  I know, beside the cute puppies, what I liked about this is that I could relate.  Admit it,  you have probably wished more than once that you could get away doing just this very thing to a someone you are angry with.  I know I have, more than once.  (More times than I would like to admit.)  


The message though is so true.  It does help to sit down and think about the problem.  What is it you are angry about?  Experience has shown me that it is rarely what I initially tell myself I am angry about.  When I take the time to sit and think about the situation it is a feeling that was triggered, a memory that surfaced, the way I perceived the situation or a belief which was challenged.   I learned many years ago, that if I say I am angry at someone or with someone, it is never about them.  It is always about me.  Taking the time to sit and think allows the initial feeling of anger to dissipate so I can recognize the true feeling of disappointment, frustration, annoyance or hurt that is beneath the surface.  Taking the time to sit and think allows you the chance to look at the situation or other person with a clearer view.  Are you angry with other person because of something you believe they did or said, or are you angry with yourself for allowing the other person to do or say something or act in a way that triggered something within you don't like. 
Once you have identified the deeper feeling, you can move forward in dealing with the anger.  Take a few moments longer to sit and think about the problem.  What can you do about the situation? Can you make it better ?  Can you make a change so the situation or person is more tolerable?  Or is this one of those times when there is nothing you can do but accept what is until a change occurs? 

If you have found your answer you can get up and move.  Release the feelings and let them go.   Release the feelings about the other person and let them move on either with you or away from you.  Get up and get away from the problem .  Find or seek out what gives you peace, joy and happiness.


I hope the next time you are angry, you can remember this picture.  Maybe it will give a moment to feel laughter instead of anger.  Maybe it will be a reminder to tackle the problem in a different way.  Maybe it will remind you to stop, take a breath and think before reacting.  What ever it does for you is perfect.    Have fun and stay happy. 

Simplicity Reduces Stress

I wanted to share this picture and it's message with you, especially at this time of the year.  During the holiday season so many of us experience an extra dose of stress.  If you are anything like me, some of this stress is caused by personal expectations, wishes or desires to please others.  It is also caused by the excitement of others as they share what they are planning, buying, doing or receiving.  All around are examples of how things should look, smell, taste, sound or feel.  I know I find myself getting caught up in all the perceived good things of the season.  I want to do it all, yet stress because my money, time, energy, family responsibilities and circumstances do not match what I may dream of or what others are blessed to be able to create or have. 

I encourage you to post this picture somewhere in your home as a reminder to relax. (Mine is going to be in my bedroom where I will see it everyday.).  Remember you are you, with all your strengths and weaknesses, chances and challenges, and you do not have to be like or have everything someone else may.  It is OK to be different.  It is OK to choose simplicity.  It is OK to not do it all.

 

Perhaps my sharing some of the choices I am making will help you decide how you can reduce your own stress.  These work for me and I trust you will find what works for you. 

 

I wanted to have a nice Christmas tree.  I have a variety of ornaments I could choose from (angels, gold or silver ornaments, wooden vintage children's ornaments, M&M characters/lights, or Santa) and find myself stressing every year over which ones to use.  Well, shopping at a local store I found some red & gold ribbon I was impressed to buy. In that moment my decision was made.  I would go with gold, and keep it simple.   The day we decorated the tree, I let the grandchildren do it all.  We unboxed the tree, and while I prepared lunch the kids pulled the branches down and "bushed up" the tree.  Instead of stringing beads of ivory and gold all around the tree or adding another string of multi-colored lights to the white lights the tree already had, I took the ribbon and zig-sagged it across the front of the tree.  Then I opened the box of ornaments and let the grand kids place the gold ornaments where they wanted.  Within 1/2 hour the tree was "perfect" according to their standards (even though someone else pointed out to me that there were a few spots with no ornaments and other spots that had two or three together). 

 

I had the idea of stringing some lights around the window.  It sounded simple, but the hooks I had purchased were not strong enough to hold the string of lights I had found, so instead of stressing over how to make the lights stay in the window, we chose to simply drape them over the top of the fireplace mantle.   The grandkids love it, and it took no more than 3 minutes to do. 

 

While other neighbors have lights around every window and over every bush or lighted displays across their lawns, we will be happy placing two lighted ornaments in our front window, and purchase a set of  10 solar pathway lights.  Again, this is something the grandchildren can set up so there is no stress for me other than the purchase and turning on and off the switch each night. 

 

We have a party at my home on Christmas Eve for my family.  This year I am choosing a very simple menu.  I have a 3 burner buffet set which my son gave me a few years ago.  This year instead of making sandwiches or a variety of various vegetable or fruit trays, crackers & cheeses, I am offering a choice of 3 soups (canned, so all I have to do is pour in and heat)  and some pre-packaged rolls along with a tray of cookies and a bowl of nuts.

 

Take a few minutes and see how you can simplify your holiday.  Reduce your stress and don't worry about others may think.  You are the person most important in your life, and the less stress you have the more joy and happiness you can experience.   Please feel free to let me know what you decide.  I and others are always looking for new ways to simplify and reduce stress.

 

Messy is a Perception

I love this little e-card.  It so describes my life and my house.  It is also a fun reminder to be aware of how choice allows us to change our perception of circumstances and events. 

Messy is nothing more than someone's expression of their perception.  Perception is generally a result of experiences and beliefs a person has picked up along the journey called life.  However, sometimes the beliefs we pick up or choose to nourish can interfere with how we feel about our present.   For instance, many people have decided that messy is unacceptable, yet what is messy to one person may be acceptable and even comfortable for someone else. 

The good news is that we always have a choice of how we feel and how we look at things.  Stop for a moment and look at how you feel at this moment.  Do you see yourself as happy or sad?  Is your life perfect or would you like to make a few changes?   Is you life busy taking children to and from activities or is it filled with short moments of time bonding, teaching or supporting?  When you look at your surroundings do you see toys and personal items out of place or do you see remnants of projects (crayons, papers, glue),   efforts to be their best (combs, brushes, curling irons), or the joy of entertainment (open books, toys, puzzles, 1/2 empty soda bottles)?   If you choose to see the first you may also choose to feel bad, to feel like you are not in control or doing what you think others believe you should be doing.  If you choose the second, you may choose to feel like you are a member of family,  doing OK without being perfect and not responsible for everything alone.

I encourage you to remember you can change your perception at any moment.  I challenge you to do it now.  What can you look at  in a different way, from a different angle or in a different light?  What choice can you make in this moment to release tension and stress and be more accepting of just what is in this moment.   Go for it and enjoy yourself, whether for a few seconds, minutes or hours. 

Night Talk

I found this picture again the other day as I was browsing through some pictures I had saved from browsing sessions on FaceBook I don't know about you, but this happens to me frequently.  The most frequent time for me is in the middle of the night.  I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, but a few hours later, I awake for some reason, but now I can't get back to sleep.  It is as though my mind decides, since it gave me 2 or 3 hours of rest, now I have no reason to do anything other than think, remember, plan, worry, fret or wonder. 

So, what do I do?  Nothing.  I allow my mind to wander and stop worrying about whether I should or should not be sleeping.   I find that this is also my most productive thinking time.  I have found, at least for myself, that paying attention makes my next day(s) go much smoother. 

Most often it is not the words I pay attention to as much as the feelings and emotions I experience.  Perhaps I am rehearsing words I wish I could say to someone but know it would not be a good idea or I am afraid of the results.  I don't necessarily want to fight with someone, but I do want to feel I have control or a choice in a particular situation.  If the thoughts are about something that has already happened, I take the opportunity to look at the feeling of whether I feel good about what happened, how I reacted or the outcome.  Recognizing the lasting feelings, I can readjust my reactions to the outcome, either accepting what is or coming up with a way to create a different outcome I can feel differently about.   Sometimes the thoughts are about something I need to do at work or forgot to do that day.  In this case it is not always the project or assignment I am stressing over, but rather a desire to be more efficient, focused or aware.  Knowing this is the real reason I may be awake, I can release the emotion and move past it, focusing on the strengths I have rather than the weaknesses that occasionally get in the way of being my best self.      

I have also found, the sooner I give in to letting my thoughts wander, not only can I get to sleep sooner rather than later, but I also sleep more soundly and wake more refreshed,  My mind and my body relax together and I get the sleep I need, not a set number of hours per say, but enough that I feel energized and able to accomplish whatever I need during the day. 

I would love to hear from you about what you do to get your brain to stop talking to itself  It is sharing that helps us all.   

Here is hoping you have a good night's rest. 
 

Make Your Own Sunshine

       There are some days when life just doesn't seem like their is anything to smile about.  The skies are cloudy, the weather is cold, the world outside the window is hazy or foggy and the day holds nothing but tasks and responsibilities. Everything looks gray and depressing, so you allow your feelings of being overwhelmed, tired, listless or sad to govern your thoughts and actions.   Perhaps because you are not at your best your children respond to match your mood, quarreling, crying, misbehaving or demanding extra attention.  


Tulip Delight (MS ClipArt, Online)

     You could choose to stay in this state of mind and body if you wanted, but there is another solution.  Sometimes you have to make your own sunshine.   If the sun doesn't seem to want to shine, it does not have to mean you have to stay in the dark.  You can create your own form of sunshine that changes drab to bright, dark to light and gloomy to happy. 
      It all starts with a smile.  You cannot smile and be sad at the same time.  So turn up the corners of your mouth and smile.  Now find someone to smile at or a reason to smile.
     Change your perspective. If the baby spilled his cereal all over his high chair tray this morning and made a mess you had to clean up, think about his laughter or the fun he had before you cleaned it up as he splashed the milk around and made patterns across the tray.    What was a mess to you was another opportunity of play for him.  Follow his example and create some fun. Give the children some blank paper and crayons and tell them to draw a sun and their favorite thing from outside, then tape them on  a window to look at instead of the gray fog.
      Turn on some music, then tap your foot. dance or sing as you perform your next task. Listen to a favorite record or CD, or turn on the radio and guess what kind of song the DJ will play next. Instill some rhythm to your day.
      Shine something.  I know that sounds silly, but it works.  Take a rag, some soap & water or a spray bottle of cleaner and find something to clean.  The act of wiping and polishing will naturally increase your energy and the pride at making even one thing shine will add a sparkle to your mood.
       Do something silly to start you laughing.   One woman I knew cut the comics from the morning paper.  Then she posted one on every door of her home.  Each time she opened a door she had something she could either laugh or think about to stay positive.   
       You know you better than I do.  You know what makes you happy and changes your mood.  These are  just suggestions that have worked for others.   Be creative and find your own way.  The idea is to know, when life seems less than perfect you have the power to add some sunshine and brighten it back up.  So go.  Do it.  Create a little sunshine, Right Now, Right Where You Are.