Because I am not typical, and my first thought was how this would affect others, I went to the sales manager of our branch office to let him know the schedule change so he could work with the other members of his sales team in scheduling when contracts can be sent and prepared. (You see one of the things some of my co-workers and employer have never fully grasped, is that one of my greatest work strengths is that I think and care about what is best for the company before I think about what is best for me.)
Then I began to stress. How am I going to pay the bills with only half a salary? I can barely make ends meet now? I have used up all my savings, so there is nothing to fall back on. My net income with the reduced salary will barely cover the mortgage payment, so how am I going to pay utilities, car payment, insurances, etc? I am at the age when most people are retiring, but I have just committed to raising a four and five year old for many years to come. The job market for people my age is limited as many employers are hesitant to hire older people. Yesterday there were a lot of things I could think of to stress over, these being only a few thoughts.
However, as I have learned, the best thing that stress does is get our mind moving. It is our choice which way we let the stress direct us. Stress can lead to depression, despair, a feeling of uselessness or failure, feelings of loneliness or looking for ways to numb the pain and thoughts. On the other hand stress can also lead to improvements, self-evaluation, changes, new ideas, different actions, new decisions and creativity. Part of the reason I can clearly see both options is that I have traveled both sides many times, and have learned, at least for myself, it is okay to feel the stress, even to experience the despair and negative thoughts for a short period, as long as in the end I choose to walk, march or even run down the side that leads to new opportunities and choices.
So at this moment in life I get to choose. Today my choice is to trust more. I choose to trust that the situation is/will be for my benefit and the benefit of my family in the end. I trust that a higher source (my Father in Heaven) knows what lies ahead and will bless me and my family as needed. I choose to trust that I will be able to find ways to work within what financial means I am still blessed with. I choose to trust I am wise enough to make good choices and strong enough to make the choices work. I choose to trust my family to understand that changes may need to be made in responsibilities, time and effort by them as well as myself. I trust that as I open myself to learning and new ideas the teachers/mentors will appear, I will recognize them as such and trust their advice or guidance.
I invite you to journey with me as I remember, share and practice life skills as I move through the next few weeks. Together I know all will be well.
