Anger Management- Sit Down and Think

Both my sister and my daughter shared this on Facebook.  I couldn't help but chuckle, and I hope you do too.  I know, beside the cute puppies, what I liked about this is that I could relate.  Admit it,  you have probably wished more than once that you could get away doing just this very thing to a someone you are angry with.  I know I have, more than once.  (More times than I would like to admit.)  


The message though is so true.  It does help to sit down and think about the problem.  What is it you are angry about?  Experience has shown me that it is rarely what I initially tell myself I am angry about.  When I take the time to sit and think about the situation it is a feeling that was triggered, a memory that surfaced, the way I perceived the situation or a belief which was challenged.   I learned many years ago, that if I say I am angry at someone or with someone, it is never about them.  It is always about me.  Taking the time to sit and think allows the initial feeling of anger to dissipate so I can recognize the true feeling of disappointment, frustration, annoyance or hurt that is beneath the surface.  Taking the time to sit and think allows you the chance to look at the situation or other person with a clearer view.  Are you angry with other person because of something you believe they did or said, or are you angry with yourself for allowing the other person to do or say something or act in a way that triggered something within you don't like. 
Once you have identified the deeper feeling, you can move forward in dealing with the anger.  Take a few moments longer to sit and think about the problem.  What can you do about the situation? Can you make it better ?  Can you make a change so the situation or person is more tolerable?  Or is this one of those times when there is nothing you can do but accept what is until a change occurs? 

If you have found your answer you can get up and move.  Release the feelings and let them go.   Release the feelings about the other person and let them move on either with you or away from you.  Get up and get away from the problem .  Find or seek out what gives you peace, joy and happiness.


I hope the next time you are angry, you can remember this picture.  Maybe it will give a moment to feel laughter instead of anger.  Maybe it will be a reminder to tackle the problem in a different way.  Maybe it will remind you to stop, take a breath and think before reacting.  What ever it does for you is perfect.    Have fun and stay happy. 

Night Talk

I found this picture again the other day as I was browsing through some pictures I had saved from browsing sessions on FaceBook I don't know about you, but this happens to me frequently.  The most frequent time for me is in the middle of the night.  I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, but a few hours later, I awake for some reason, but now I can't get back to sleep.  It is as though my mind decides, since it gave me 2 or 3 hours of rest, now I have no reason to do anything other than think, remember, plan, worry, fret or wonder. 

So, what do I do?  Nothing.  I allow my mind to wander and stop worrying about whether I should or should not be sleeping.   I find that this is also my most productive thinking time.  I have found, at least for myself, that paying attention makes my next day(s) go much smoother. 

Most often it is not the words I pay attention to as much as the feelings and emotions I experience.  Perhaps I am rehearsing words I wish I could say to someone but know it would not be a good idea or I am afraid of the results.  I don't necessarily want to fight with someone, but I do want to feel I have control or a choice in a particular situation.  If the thoughts are about something that has already happened, I take the opportunity to look at the feeling of whether I feel good about what happened, how I reacted or the outcome.  Recognizing the lasting feelings, I can readjust my reactions to the outcome, either accepting what is or coming up with a way to create a different outcome I can feel differently about.   Sometimes the thoughts are about something I need to do at work or forgot to do that day.  In this case it is not always the project or assignment I am stressing over, but rather a desire to be more efficient, focused or aware.  Knowing this is the real reason I may be awake, I can release the emotion and move past it, focusing on the strengths I have rather than the weaknesses that occasionally get in the way of being my best self.      

I have also found, the sooner I give in to letting my thoughts wander, not only can I get to sleep sooner rather than later, but I also sleep more soundly and wake more refreshed,  My mind and my body relax together and I get the sleep I need, not a set number of hours per say, but enough that I feel energized and able to accomplish whatever I need during the day. 

I would love to hear from you about what you do to get your brain to stop talking to itself  It is sharing that helps us all.   

Here is hoping you have a good night's rest.