Sometimes- Do What's Best for You

Sometimes you have to do whats best for you and your life not what's best for everyone else.



This is really appropriate for me right now.  It is a reminder to fill my own bucket with love and good moments so that I have a reserve I can use for others.

For me, that means I work on getting some of my stories ready to publish and not worry about whether the house is in the best shape it could be. It means I don't feel guilty about taking myself to lunch at an inexpensive restaurant.  It means I choose to not feel guilty about going to see my parents because it means the family will need to wait an extra hour or two for dinner.  It means getting up early to take a bubble bath alone, lighting only a single candle and playing some soothing music.  It means buying a new CD to listen to on the way to work instead of the news or traffic reports.   It even means volunteering to be on the board of the HOA. (OK, that one will take some explaining at a later date.)

So why are these little breaks and changes important to me?  Because they evoke a change. A relaxing bath alone allows me to relax muscles tightening from stress or pent up feelings.  A soothing bath for me is the best place to allow tears to flow and mingle with the calm around me.  When I emerge from the tub, I am relaxed and  can handle the interruptions and demands with more patience and understanding instead of instantly reacting.  Taking myself to lunch interrupts the pressures and stress of an especially frantic, eventful day. The hour it takes to be served and eat allows enough time to focus on something beside the office politics. I can back away from the issues and see where or with whom the problem lies and disengage myself  from trying to make everything better or take blame for something that wasn't my problem in the first place.  I can then return to work, be more supportive of finding a solution and look at options instead of just reacting to what was said or done.     Whenever I visit  my parents, I always seem to leave with a feeling that I can handle whatever life throws me.  It is not always something they necessarily say or do, but when I see them I am reminded that struggles come and go, and all we really need to do is just keep doing and being our best. 

The point is, for even a few minutes, once in a while it is OK to think of yourself first, and the important people of your life second.  It is OK to handle your stress, depression, mood or feelings.  It is OK to find a refreshing release from the pressures of work, family, church or self-expectations for short moments so that you can come back to all of these things with a fresh attitude or perspective.  It is OK to fill your bucket with love, peace and happiness.  When you do you have something to share with others.  When you fill your bucket with things that make you feel good, it will naturally, without effort spill over to others around you. 

Anger Management- Sit Down and Think

Both my sister and my daughter shared this on Facebook.  I couldn't help but chuckle, and I hope you do too.  I know, beside the cute puppies, what I liked about this is that I could relate.  Admit it,  you have probably wished more than once that you could get away doing just this very thing to a someone you are angry with.  I know I have, more than once.  (More times than I would like to admit.)  


The message though is so true.  It does help to sit down and think about the problem.  What is it you are angry about?  Experience has shown me that it is rarely what I initially tell myself I am angry about.  When I take the time to sit and think about the situation it is a feeling that was triggered, a memory that surfaced, the way I perceived the situation or a belief which was challenged.   I learned many years ago, that if I say I am angry at someone or with someone, it is never about them.  It is always about me.  Taking the time to sit and think allows the initial feeling of anger to dissipate so I can recognize the true feeling of disappointment, frustration, annoyance or hurt that is beneath the surface.  Taking the time to sit and think allows you the chance to look at the situation or other person with a clearer view.  Are you angry with other person because of something you believe they did or said, or are you angry with yourself for allowing the other person to do or say something or act in a way that triggered something within you don't like. 
Once you have identified the deeper feeling, you can move forward in dealing with the anger.  Take a few moments longer to sit and think about the problem.  What can you do about the situation? Can you make it better ?  Can you make a change so the situation or person is more tolerable?  Or is this one of those times when there is nothing you can do but accept what is until a change occurs? 

If you have found your answer you can get up and move.  Release the feelings and let them go.   Release the feelings about the other person and let them move on either with you or away from you.  Get up and get away from the problem .  Find or seek out what gives you peace, joy and happiness.


I hope the next time you are angry, you can remember this picture.  Maybe it will give a moment to feel laughter instead of anger.  Maybe it will be a reminder to tackle the problem in a different way.  Maybe it will remind you to stop, take a breath and think before reacting.  What ever it does for you is perfect.    Have fun and stay happy.