In Three Words

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life - It Goes On." - Robert Frost

It certainly does.  Life goes on whether we want it to or not.  Sometimes we are glad it moves and other times we may regret that it moves so quickly.  Yet no matter what we wish, it continues to go on with or without our permission or opinions.

So what do we do about it?  We allow it to go on while doing the best we can in each given moment.  We allow ourselves to be whoever and whatever we are at the time, whether it is our best, worst or average.  We don't judge either the moment or ourselves as good or bad. We allow life to go on, understanding and knowing that in the end it really doesn't matter because, since life does go on, there is always another chance, another beginning or even another ending coming.

You are proof that life does go on and that whatever it takes or brings along with it is OK.  How can I say this?  Because you and I are OK.  We are living our lives individually and alongside each other.  We may have different experiences, perspectives, ideas and beliefs, but we have all experience growth due to the movement of time.  We have grown from infants to toddlers to children to teens and become either a young or older adult.  None of us were able to stop life from going forward in our past anymore than we can now stop it from continuing now.  So we might as well enjoy the journey and move along with life as it unfolds.  Take the time to enjoy and remember moments, for when life seems to be moving too fast it will be those moments and memories that will make it OK. 

You Have Changed

"When someone says 'You've Changed' it simply means you've stopped living your life their way." Unknown

When someone says you have changed it means you have not stood still, in some way you have chosen to move.  What change you have made, good or bad, is a matter of perspective, either your own or the other person's.  

Change is about moving.  Change is about making decisions.  Change is about not doing what has been done before.  Change is always positive, even if it leads in a different direction then we believe it should, because change is about doing something rather than doing nothing at all. Change is creation in action, the making of something new or different. 

If someone decides you have changed, it is up to them to decide what they want to do.  Some people may decide the change is an improvement, cheering and supporting as you make more changes.  They may even make changes in their own life based on your example or direction.  Other people may decide if you aren't going to continue your life as they think you should, they can no longer approve of your choices or be your friend.  Some may feel it is better to sever ties than deal with their own feelings of not being more like you.   Whatever someone else decides, allow them to make the change they feel they must. Just as change is important for  you, the change they decide to make may be just important for them at the time.

So go ahead and change.  Make changes which make you feel good.  Make a change that brings a new result.  Make a change that moves you closer to a dream.  Make a change only you can make.  Live your life your way not the way someone else thinks you should. 

Good Every Day

Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.

I encourage you to write this thought down and put it somewhere where you can see it often.  This truth can change your life in many ways.  How do I know?  I have seen it occur too often to not believe in its power or share it with others, including you.

Everyday is twenty-four hours long. There is nothing you can do to alter the length (although I am sure there are some you wish were longer and others you wish would end sooner).  Each day comes and goes whether we wish it to or not, for just as we wish some days are shorter, so we sometimes dread the next day to come because of something we believe or anticipate occurring. 

Yet even on those seemingly less than perfect days, there are moments, if we look, which are good.  The children may be having one of those days where it seems their full purpose in life is to be underfoot and demanding your attention. Yet amidst the frustration and chaos is the knowledge they love you and want to be near you.  Perhaps your boss yelled at you for not delivering the work he expected you to finish, yet the good part is he has a high enough opinion of you to expect a certain level of performance. It could even be a day when the principal demanded you come and pick up your child because he/she is behaving but today you had the opportunity to listen and understand the world as seen from your child's perspective. 

No, not everyday is the same.  Some are good and some are not so good, but we can, if we allow ourselves, see the good in each one. 

 

Make Your Own Sunshine

       There are some days when life just doesn't seem like their is anything to smile about.  The skies are cloudy, the weather is cold, the world outside the window is hazy or foggy and the day holds nothing but tasks and responsibilities. Everything looks gray and depressing, so you allow your feelings of being overwhelmed, tired, listless or sad to govern your thoughts and actions.   Perhaps because you are not at your best your children respond to match your mood, quarreling, crying, misbehaving or demanding extra attention.  


Tulip Delight (MS ClipArt, Online)

     You could choose to stay in this state of mind and body if you wanted, but there is another solution.  Sometimes you have to make your own sunshine.   If the sun doesn't seem to want to shine, it does not have to mean you have to stay in the dark.  You can create your own form of sunshine that changes drab to bright, dark to light and gloomy to happy. 
      It all starts with a smile.  You cannot smile and be sad at the same time.  So turn up the corners of your mouth and smile.  Now find someone to smile at or a reason to smile.
     Change your perspective. If the baby spilled his cereal all over his high chair tray this morning and made a mess you had to clean up, think about his laughter or the fun he had before you cleaned it up as he splashed the milk around and made patterns across the tray.    What was a mess to you was another opportunity of play for him.  Follow his example and create some fun. Give the children some blank paper and crayons and tell them to draw a sun and their favorite thing from outside, then tape them on  a window to look at instead of the gray fog.
      Turn on some music, then tap your foot. dance or sing as you perform your next task. Listen to a favorite record or CD, or turn on the radio and guess what kind of song the DJ will play next. Instill some rhythm to your day.
      Shine something.  I know that sounds silly, but it works.  Take a rag, some soap & water or a spray bottle of cleaner and find something to clean.  The act of wiping and polishing will naturally increase your energy and the pride at making even one thing shine will add a sparkle to your mood.
       Do something silly to start you laughing.   One woman I knew cut the comics from the morning paper.  Then she posted one on every door of her home.  Each time she opened a door she had something she could either laugh or think about to stay positive.   
       You know you better than I do.  You know what makes you happy and changes your mood.  These are  just suggestions that have worked for others.   Be creative and find your own way.  The idea is to know, when life seems less than perfect you have the power to add some sunshine and brighten it back up.  So go.  Do it.  Create a little sunshine, Right Now, Right Where You Are.