Better Than Yesterday

"The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday." Unknown

In my opinion, this quote contains, in few words, advice and wisdom everyone can use.

First it reminds us to not compare ourselves with others.  Comparing just emphasizes the perceived difference without taking into account the circumstances.  I recently was reminded of how quickly comparing ourselves to others can increase stress or depression, and lower self esteem. No two people are alike in every aspect of their being or circumstances, so comparison is never completely equal and always based on perception.    

Second it reminds us to look at who we were, are and who we might become or be.  What do we see in ourself that gives us joy?  What makes us feel fulfilled and of worth?  What are the traits we already possess we don't want or need to improve on?   What lessons, good or bad, have been important in assisting us in becoming the person we are today?    Is there something we think we could still learn or grow from?  Is there a talent, skill or personality trait we would like to build on or change in some way?  Do we even need to be better today than yesterday?  Everyday does not have to be a forward step.  I don't know about you, but I know I have days where just standing still and enjoying who and where I am at the moment without any change is a perfect day.    

Third it encourages us to keep looking for ways to improve ourselves.  It leaves the choice up to each person as to what we think would or could be better.  It doesn't have to be big.  Maybe it is a simple as smiling a little more today than yesterday. Maybe today we exercise one minute more than yesterday.  Maybe today is the day for a change in the color of lipstick or the cologne worn in order to lift a spirit.  Perhaps today is the day a new chapter in life begins.  There is always a way to move, and the choice, big or little, forward or back, is ours to make. 

I hope each of us can take a moment to see the good in ourselves and decide if we are great as we are or if we want to make an improvement.   Share what you find, either here or with a friend.  

Trust is Like A Paper

"Trust is like a piece of paper, once it's crumpled it can't be Perfect again."

I came across this quote in the spring of 2017 as I was reflecting on this blog. I thought about this often during the year as it applied to different members of my family and as different situations arose in relationships.   As I did I found, while I agreed with the thought that like the crumpled paper, trust might never be what it was before,  I believed strongly in the belief that it was still of value and worth trying to salvage. .   Just because trust had been crumpled and now had some wrinkles did not mean it's value was lost forever or it couldn't be used again or even recycled into something even more valuable to a relationship.

Trust is generally defined as :" firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something"  (Webster online dictionary)

While this definition may be generally accepted as what trust is, trust is much harder to explain.  Trust is based on fragile feelings which can change in an instant.  Trust can exist one moment and be lost the next as a result of a single choice.  Trust can be lost even when the decisions involved were made for the right reasons at the time or under the best circumstances.   Trust can also be regained just as quickly through communication and understanding.

This past year has been an up and down journey in trust with one of my granddaughters, particularly during times of strain between her and other family members, when they desired to shake the trust bonds between each of us.  Who was I was to believe or trust?  Did I trust my own feelings and experience in the situations or what others believed or  had been told?  As I reflect at the end of the year I can see that trust, not only with this granddaughter, but also other family members, looks much like the paper above.  Trust is not the perfect form many expect it to be, but is still whole.  It has some wrinkles but is still useful.  In some ways it is even less bland and more beautiful to look at because of the different lines and wrinkles that were not there before.

I encourage you to look at how trust works in your own life?  It is solid and perfect with some people while wrinkled and well used with others?  Although it has been changed, does it still exist in a new form?  What were the lessons learned, shared or created in the time between thinking something was destroyed and the process of  smoothing out or recycling the relationship?  Only you have the answers for you.