Make Your Own Sunshine

       There are some days when life just doesn't seem like their is anything to smile about.  The skies are cloudy, the weather is cold, the world outside the window is hazy or foggy and the day holds nothing but tasks and responsibilities. Everything looks gray and depressing, so you allow your feelings of being overwhelmed, tired, listless or sad to govern your thoughts and actions.   Perhaps because you are not at your best your children respond to match your mood, quarreling, crying, misbehaving or demanding extra attention.  


Tulip Delight (MS ClipArt, Online)

     You could choose to stay in this state of mind and body if you wanted, but there is another solution.  Sometimes you have to make your own sunshine.   If the sun doesn't seem to want to shine, it does not have to mean you have to stay in the dark.  You can create your own form of sunshine that changes drab to bright, dark to light and gloomy to happy. 
      It all starts with a smile.  You cannot smile and be sad at the same time.  So turn up the corners of your mouth and smile.  Now find someone to smile at or a reason to smile.
     Change your perspective. If the baby spilled his cereal all over his high chair tray this morning and made a mess you had to clean up, think about his laughter or the fun he had before you cleaned it up as he splashed the milk around and made patterns across the tray.    What was a mess to you was another opportunity of play for him.  Follow his example and create some fun. Give the children some blank paper and crayons and tell them to draw a sun and their favorite thing from outside, then tape them on  a window to look at instead of the gray fog.
      Turn on some music, then tap your foot. dance or sing as you perform your next task. Listen to a favorite record or CD, or turn on the radio and guess what kind of song the DJ will play next. Instill some rhythm to your day.
      Shine something.  I know that sounds silly, but it works.  Take a rag, some soap & water or a spray bottle of cleaner and find something to clean.  The act of wiping and polishing will naturally increase your energy and the pride at making even one thing shine will add a sparkle to your mood.
       Do something silly to start you laughing.   One woman I knew cut the comics from the morning paper.  Then she posted one on every door of her home.  Each time she opened a door she had something she could either laugh or think about to stay positive.   
       You know you better than I do.  You know what makes you happy and changes your mood.  These are  just suggestions that have worked for others.   Be creative and find your own way.  The idea is to know, when life seems less than perfect you have the power to add some sunshine and brighten it back up.  So go.  Do it.  Create a little sunshine, Right Now, Right Where You Are.  

Well Done Is Better Than Well Said

I have been doing a lot of research lately and I have found this thought comes to my mind often as I sift through all the material and look for information. 

 

Sometimes in life things become so overwhelming that you find you need to pause, sift through what you have or are looking for and set a limit.  You have to decide what is important and what you can let go or walk away from. You have to create your own level of deciding what is of worth to you in the present moment.  Circumstances change, so it is okay if you find what you decide today you feel differently about at a later time. 
I decided to do some research lately on writing, for business, as a business or just for fun.  What makes the difference between a well written story or book and a best seller?  As you can imagine, there are hundreds of books already written and many more everyday coming out everyday on "How To......(write a novel, write good characters, write a plot, write a novel in X days, or write a book in X hours).  I could see quickly, with so many to choose from, I needed to narrow my search.  So I decided to look for authors who I admired because of their well done best seller novels or books. What I found is that those who are busy creating the stories and books I love to read are not the ones out there expounding how to do it.  I noticed that they are examples to me of well done is better than well said.   Their accomplishments speak louder than any words they can speak and are much more powerful.  They don't tell how to write, they show how to write with feeling, power or personal knowledge.

Saying I am a writer means nothing if I am not putting pen to paper, fingers to keyboard or screen to paper.    I have to do these thing well before I can say they are well done.   Until I share what I write I am a writer not a teacher or author.  It is the well done act of sharing that makes the difference.   I can write as many pages as I want but it is the well done act of combining them into a book you can enjoy or learn from that makes the difference between saying I am a writer and saying I am an author.  Well Done is better than Well Said. 

This concept can be a positive motivation tool in everyday choices.  It is better to do, to act, to move, to take a step than to just say you are going to.   How many tasks, jobs, chores or projects do you accomplish during a day?  Do you consider them well done?   Did you use a skill, tools, instruments, knowledge, energy, effort or personal intuition?  Give yourself credit for a job well done.  Never mind whether someone else from their experience or perspective considers it well done, you are the one whose opinion counts.   

So take a moment today to stop and see how you can use this idea in your life.  Make this phrase personal to you.  Share it.  Show it.  Say it.   Be the best you possible today. 

Serve - Look Beyond Yourself

I have several people I know right now that are dealing with some level of depression.  When asked one of the most powerful tools I use in overcoming depression, my answer, after take care of yourself,  is SERVE.   It is rarely the answer they expect, but from personal experience, it is a powerful key. 
Most people I know, when asked to describe depression, will include feelings of isolation, hopelessness, despair, lack of energy and mental confusion or inability to make decisions.  All of these feelings are personal and real to those that experience any form of depression.  Any of these feelings are a signal you need to shift gears in order to avoid slipping further into despair. 
The first thing is to take care of yourself, starting with making sure you eat and get restful sleep. Call a doctor to make sure there is not a medical problem you are unaware of.   Then do something to lift your spirits and/or make you laugh.  Go for a walk or watching a funny movie works for many people.   Then Smile.
Now comes the shift. Stop dwelling on yourself,  Stop wondering if you are becoming or already are depressed because you probably are, but it is okay.  It is okay and I can assure you are not alone.  So now Look Beyond Yourself. .  Look around and realize there are other people around you.  Each one of them have needs or feelings exactly like yours.  What do you wish could happen to make your life better or easier.   Just as you, they need or want someone to care, to listen, to reach out and offer hope or assistance.  Whatever you decide you need or want,  look beyond yourself to find someone you feel could use that same thing and do it for them.  Call a friend and just tell them you are thinking about them.  Surprise a family member by doing one of their chores or preparing their favorite food.  Ask a family member or friend how they are doing and then just listen.  Send a card to someone to either thank them, tell them something you noticed them do or what you admire about them or a bit of encouragement.  Take a walk and say hello to or smile at 3 people before you get back to your own home.  Pick a flower (or a flowering weed, who cares) and give it to someone, just because they are there at that moment.  Keep it simple. 
The key isn't hard.  They key is to serve or touch someone else instead of looking for it to come to you.  The miracle is that as you do for others you will receive back exactly what you need.  In serving others you may receive the smile, thank you, appreciation, hug or unexpected response that helps in your own healing.   You cannot not give without receiving. You may receive from others or it may be a feeling within, but you will receive something good.  
I encourage you to test this for yourself.  Look Beyond Yourself.  Serve. Receive.