Cultivating an Attitude of Happiness

Happiness cannot really be defined.  It is a state of being or a feeling we each decide for ourselves.  Since we are all unique and special  we each define and seek happiness differently.     What makes me feel happy may or may not be on someone else's list  or give them the exact same warm, fuzzy feeling(s).  What someone else feels is needed before they can say they are happy may be something I have not even thought of or doesn't seem important to me.

Happiness is generally defined as "a feeling of being happy."  What happy is for each of us is just as undefinable, but is often seen as a moment of enjoyment.   That enjoyment may encompass a variety of other pleasant feelings, including (among other feelings): peace, joy, cheerfulness, satisfaction and pleasure.  Happiness is changeable.  What we define as happiness one day may, based on circumstances, feel like something we are still seeking the next day.

While happiness is hard to pin down, we each still seek to find and hold on to that state of being or feeling.  Happiness is an attitude we choose to adopt.  Our end goals or perceptions may vary but the things we do to find  personal happiness are often very similar.  Below is a list of a few things I have found are common ways we cultivate happiness.  I feel certain, if you are or have experienced happiness, whether the feeling was short or lingering, you used one or more of these life skills.

1. 1. Savor the moment - experience one positive moment.  No matter what else seems to be going on, look for and find one thing that makes the moment memorable. 
2. Connect with others - experiencing the support from or a connection with another person can make problems more bearable or put concerns and worries in perspective
3. Curtail comparisons - stop judging yourself or others based on what you think you see.  Let go of what you think is perfect.
4. Practice non-judgemental awareness - Remember we are all doing our best in the moment  Give yourself and others a break. 
5. Cultivate realistic thinking-  Balance your thoughts and thinking.  Be aware of the possibility of outcomes but also realize and know you have coping skills to deal with, overcome or even avoid those outcomes 
6. Develop self-care practices - Take care of yourself.  Integrate habits and routines in your life which keep you healthy,  both physically, mentally and spiritually.
7. Simplify - Choose easy. Reinvent your life to decrease stress and personal pressures. 
8. Have fun and laugh -   Allow yourself the freedom to enjoy-  Read or tell a joke.  Decide to do something out of the ordinary.  Play a game, run a race, watch a  parade or simply go for a walk.  
9. Share Gratitude- Recognize what you already have- Thank someone for something they have done. Look for and see the good that already exists for and around you. 
10. Live a meaningful and authentic life - Be true to yourself and your values. Be who you are, not who you or someone else thinks you should be. 

Cultivate Happiness in your life.  Dig  down in your thoughts and plan the garden you would like to enjoy.  Plant seeds of satisfaction and gratitude.  Nurture and care about your feelings, wishes and desires.  Allow time for growth.  Weed out the negative. Watch for the buds to appear and celebrate the opening petals of joy.    Then enjoy the beauty of happiness. 

Make Your Own Sunshine

       There are some days when life just doesn't seem like their is anything to smile about.  The skies are cloudy, the weather is cold, the world outside the window is hazy or foggy and the day holds nothing but tasks and responsibilities. Everything looks gray and depressing, so you allow your feelings of being overwhelmed, tired, listless or sad to govern your thoughts and actions.   Perhaps because you are not at your best your children respond to match your mood, quarreling, crying, misbehaving or demanding extra attention.  


Tulip Delight (MS ClipArt, Online)

     You could choose to stay in this state of mind and body if you wanted, but there is another solution.  Sometimes you have to make your own sunshine.   If the sun doesn't seem to want to shine, it does not have to mean you have to stay in the dark.  You can create your own form of sunshine that changes drab to bright, dark to light and gloomy to happy. 
      It all starts with a smile.  You cannot smile and be sad at the same time.  So turn up the corners of your mouth and smile.  Now find someone to smile at or a reason to smile.
     Change your perspective. If the baby spilled his cereal all over his high chair tray this morning and made a mess you had to clean up, think about his laughter or the fun he had before you cleaned it up as he splashed the milk around and made patterns across the tray.    What was a mess to you was another opportunity of play for him.  Follow his example and create some fun. Give the children some blank paper and crayons and tell them to draw a sun and their favorite thing from outside, then tape them on  a window to look at instead of the gray fog.
      Turn on some music, then tap your foot. dance or sing as you perform your next task. Listen to a favorite record or CD, or turn on the radio and guess what kind of song the DJ will play next. Instill some rhythm to your day.
      Shine something.  I know that sounds silly, but it works.  Take a rag, some soap & water or a spray bottle of cleaner and find something to clean.  The act of wiping and polishing will naturally increase your energy and the pride at making even one thing shine will add a sparkle to your mood.
       Do something silly to start you laughing.   One woman I knew cut the comics from the morning paper.  Then she posted one on every door of her home.  Each time she opened a door she had something she could either laugh or think about to stay positive.   
       You know you better than I do.  You know what makes you happy and changes your mood.  These are  just suggestions that have worked for others.   Be creative and find your own way.  The idea is to know, when life seems less than perfect you have the power to add some sunshine and brighten it back up.  So go.  Do it.  Create a little sunshine, Right Now, Right Where You Are.