I am sure, like me, you occasionally have people that show up in your life that you would never think to invite, and wonder if you will survive the experience. Yet they are there, through no action or invitation, and you get to or must find a way to get along with them. Even more importantly than getting along with them, is you must find ways to remain your best self or love yourself through the experience of their presence, especially when their presence brings a great deal of negativity.
So what do you do? How do you cope with the negativity without becoming entrapped in it yourself? How can you counter the way they seem to bring you down with something to bring you up so you can find the balance you knew before their entrance?
You remember and be the person you were before they arrived. I know. I can hear your reply. "You don't understand how bad it is." Believe me, yes I do understand. I know it is not as easy as it sounds. How do I know? Because I have experienced this before, and am in the midst myself,of a similar situation. So I will share, and hopefully we will both grow, learn, balance and reclaim our best selves.
REMEMBER the person you were before they arrived. Were you giving, loving or assisting? Were you efficient, in control of your environment or achieving goals? Were you knowledgeable, well trained or self-educated? Were you skillful, resourceful, imaginative or creative? Did you enjoy coming to work, school or the places you went each day? Were you an example, and inspiration or a leader to others? Did you believe you had talents, skills and abilities you shared with others? Did you have friends, acquaintances or co-workers you enjoyed being with or talking with? I am sure, just as I, you can answer YES to a number of these questions.
BE who you were and who you want to be. You may have to make a few changes, but continue to be the best you have always been. Friendships are forged through time, so continue your existing friendships. If the new person wants your friendship, they will watch and find a way to fit in. Counter-balance negative emotions with positive feelings. Bring a picture to put on your desk, sip a favorite drink or listen to music you enjoy. Continue doing the things you are good at - helping others, training, sharing knowledge, leading others, creating new ideas or producing workable solutions. Create win-win situations the same way you did before. Find something in the situation you can overcame before and recall your success, then be and act like the successful person you are.
Finally, LEARN from the present. Discover something new about yourself. Look at how the other person responds to the environment, you and other people. Learn patience through understanding not all people think the same. Allow the other person to have their opinion without feeling you need to give up or change your own opinions or beliefs. Recognize your perception of the person may not be their reality. If you find you cannot work with a certain person or personality, then find others you can work with to accomplish the same worthwhile goals or results.
Three simple words, yet powerful when used together. They work wonders- just give them time.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
More Life Skills
Bridge of Skills, besides being the name of this blog, is the name of the book I just officially published in 2013. Written several years ago, I share life skills, abilities and thinking I have found valuable and felt impressed to share with others.
Through the years I have had many opportunities to evaluate this experience called life. I have met and been taught by many people. Like you, grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren have influenced my life. I have been blessed, as many of you, with associates, mentors and teachers whom have increased my knowledge and ability to make wise, responsible choices. I have also, because of family circumstances, had the opportunity to learn from therapists, doctors, social workers and even judges personal abilities and ways of choosing which I could call life skills.
I hope you will join me as I share some of these skills, thoughts and lessons with you and others. I invite you to share with friends and acquaintance the things you find of value and interest. For in sharing we build bridges that connect us one with another.
Through the years I have had many opportunities to evaluate this experience called life. I have met and been taught by many people. Like you, grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren have influenced my life. I have been blessed, as many of you, with associates, mentors and teachers whom have increased my knowledge and ability to make wise, responsible choices. I have also, because of family circumstances, had the opportunity to learn from therapists, doctors, social workers and even judges personal abilities and ways of choosing which I could call life skills.
I hope you will join me as I share some of these skills, thoughts and lessons with you and others. I invite you to share with friends and acquaintance the things you find of value and interest. For in sharing we build bridges that connect us one with another.
If you have any ideas of what you would like to learn more about, please let me know. Below are a few subjects which friends have asked me to share more thoughts about. Life is seldom planned and doesn't always go as expected, so I am sure these are only a few of the subjects which will be discussed here and there may be no sense to the order other than inspiration or experiences which are pertinent for the moments as they come. What I can promise is I will share from my heart and with genuine caring.
- Attitude
- Behaviors
- Character/Ethics
- Communication
- Compassion/Empathy
- Choices
- Courtesy
- Dealing w/Anger
- Fairness
- Forgiveness
- Goal-setting/Purpose
- Gratitude
- Hope
- Honesty/Integrity
- Kindness/Caring
- Overcoming Obstacles
- Patience
- Respect
- Responsibility
- Stress Management
- Trustworthiness
...and much more
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)