A Part of Your Life



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"The only thing that makes it a part of your life is that you keep thinking about it."

 

In reviewing a list of quotes, this one stood out for me because I knew it was true.  Recently a series of moments, during what I would call a less than perfect day, left me feeling depressed, frustrated, unhappy and questioning my decision and who I thought I was..  I kept thinking,  about the day, consciously or unconsciously, allowing myself to stay in that same frame of mind, each day getting more depressed and lower in my self-esteem.   

The first thing I had to do was to realize  I was holding on to the experience by thinking and analyzing whether I should or shouldn't feel the way I was. The thing which was triggering my thinking was a dent in my new car.   I couldn't change the dent, but I could change my perspective or thinking about it.  Instead of viewing the dent as a reminder of something wrong, a bad day or unusual choices I needed to allow it to be simply what it was a dent.   I could continue to dwell on all the reasons it had occurred or stop thinking and let it be a moment in life, something that occurred but didn't make a lot of difference as life and time moved on.  Just as the dent was a minor flaw on an otherwise smooth metal surface, so the experience was just a wrinkle in the otherwise smooth flow of good days I had been enjoying and the ones that followed.  

The dent has not disappeared, but my depression, lowered self-esteem and feeling of frustration have.  I no longer dwell on what I should or could have done differently that particular day.  Now, if I happen to notice the dent, it serves as a reminder to let the small things in life be small and enjoy the abundance of good things and wonderful moments I experience everyday. 

The choice is yours. Are you going to allow something negative to remain by continuing to dwell on and think about it or let it go so something better can become a part of your life? 

Nothing is Impossible

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Nothing is impossible - the word itself says "I'm Possible."

How many times have you or I found ourselves looking at a project, idea, task or offer and said "That is impossible!"  How many times have you then tried anyway and proved it was indeed possible?  Or seen someone else succeed at what you perceived as impossible to accomplish? 

Many times it is not the idea or task that seems impossible, it is the way we initially expect or envision it happening, and perhaps we could be right.  However, in almost everything, there is more than one way to try, act or accomplish it.  Many years ago I sat in a room with about seventy-five others and were challenged to cross a room.  The only rule was that you could not do it exactly the same as anyone before you.  The idea seemed impossible, after all there are only so many ways to walk, run or skip, or so we believed.  As the challenge proceeded, imagination and thought grew among the group.  Not everyone walked, or ran, or skipped or used shoes or feet or held their arms or hands or feet the same.  We found surprisingly that not only were there 75 different ways to cross a room, but also many more we did not have time to attempt. The experience was one of the best I have ever had in helping me understand that if something looks or sounds impossible, I need to take a second look and remember the way may just be something I haven't thought of or tried yet. 

What looks or feels impossible to you right now?  Now say to you yourself, this is possible.  Take another look and try something different. Remember too, what seems impossible for one person may be absolutely possible for someone else only because they did or thought of something the other person had not explored yet.  Remember you are the one that may be perfect, have the knowledge, will, determination, experiences or imagination to do what someone else also thought impossible. 

Take a chance. Look for the IM POSSIBLE ways in everything you see or try.






You Can't Forget Them

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"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met." Unknown.







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 I have  seen some posts on social media lately about forgetting people, especially those who have hurt us in some way.  I understand the pain these people are expressing, for I have too many times felt exactly as they do.. I wish I could say forgetting someone was easy, however I have not found it so for myself. 

These few quotes explain far better than I that forgetting someone who has been a part of or touched our lives, whether for good or bad, is not easy.  With some we may not ever want to forget.  With others, we may not have liked the experience at times, but there is always something we learned, a way we have grown or somehow changed because of their presence.

 No matter how much you want or even try to forget, there will still be moments which come that will remind you of them.  It may be clear memory, or a hazy moment you relive quickly.  It may be something you do you began when you knew them or something you have only done since that reminds you.they were once part of your life.  It may even be a tear shed or a smile which suddenly overcomes you at an odd moment with an unexpected thought.

So what do you do when these moments occur?  Take a deep breath and savor the moment.  Let the thought come and go, trusting there was a reason it was there.  Recognize and be grateful in that moment for something about them which made a difference in you.  Give yourself credit for surviving, growing, loving or learning through the experience of knowing them.  Silently wish them well wherever they may be and feel good about where you are. Feel the beauty and love you have now. 

You Have Changed

"When someone says 'You've Changed' it simply means you've stopped living your life their way." Unknown

When someone says you have changed it means you have not stood still, in some way you have chosen to move.  What change you have made, good or bad, is a matter of perspective, either your own or the other person's.  

Change is about moving.  Change is about making decisions.  Change is about not doing what has been done before.  Change is always positive, even if it leads in a different direction then we believe it should, because change is about doing something rather than doing nothing at all. Change is creation in action, the making of something new or different. 

If someone decides you have changed, it is up to them to decide what they want to do.  Some people may decide the change is an improvement, cheering and supporting as you make more changes.  They may even make changes in their own life based on your example or direction.  Other people may decide if you aren't going to continue your life as they think you should, they can no longer approve of your choices or be your friend.  Some may feel it is better to sever ties than deal with their own feelings of not being more like you.   Whatever someone else decides, allow them to make the change they feel they must. Just as change is important for  you, the change they decide to make may be just important for them at the time.

So go ahead and change.  Make changes which make you feel good.  Make a change that brings a new result.  Make a change that moves you closer to a dream.  Make a change only you can make.  Live your life your way not the way someone else thinks you should. 

Good Every Day

Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.

I encourage you to write this thought down and put it somewhere where you can see it often.  This truth can change your life in many ways.  How do I know?  I have seen it occur too often to not believe in its power or share it with others, including you.

Everyday is twenty-four hours long. There is nothing you can do to alter the length (although I am sure there are some you wish were longer and others you wish would end sooner).  Each day comes and goes whether we wish it to or not, for just as we wish some days are shorter, so we sometimes dread the next day to come because of something we believe or anticipate occurring. 

Yet even on those seemingly less than perfect days, there are moments, if we look, which are good.  The children may be having one of those days where it seems their full purpose in life is to be underfoot and demanding your attention. Yet amidst the frustration and chaos is the knowledge they love you and want to be near you.  Perhaps your boss yelled at you for not delivering the work he expected you to finish, yet the good part is he has a high enough opinion of you to expect a certain level of performance. It could even be a day when the principal demanded you come and pick up your child because he/she is behaving but today you had the opportunity to listen and understand the world as seen from your child's perspective. 

No, not everyday is the same.  Some are good and some are not so good, but we can, if we allow ourselves, see the good in each one. 

 

Live in the Moment - Unless

"Today I will live in the moment unless it is unpleasant in which case I will eat a cookie."  Cookie Monster-  Just for Fun

What better advice can you get?  (Just for the record, a chocolate chip cookie works well, at least for me. ) 

It is OK to have those moments and days when you feel like you just can't cope without some kind of help.  You know the ones, where even from the start, the day feels overwhelming.  You have appointments to get to, work to finish, loved ones to care for, decisions to make or a combination of all.  You know those days too where a good day changes to bad because the children are whining, your supervisor pointed out an error in your work, you and a loved one didn't share the same point of view or in spite of your best efforts the results were not as you expected or desired. 

When those moments occur, let go.  Do something for yourself.  Find a way to relieve the unpleasantness.  Make a choice to see or make the moment different.  Remember, it does not have to look a certain way.  What works for you is perfect.  Take a walk.  Eat a cookie.  Think about something pleasant or find something to laugh at.  Take a moment to look around for something beautiful to enjoy.  Close your eyes, relax and take a deep breath and feel a moment of peace.   Do something unexpected, unusual or even silly.  Eat a piece of chocolate or reach for a favorite piece of fruit.  Sing a song or listen to something you enjoy.

 Remember, it is just a moment.  It will pass. Another moment is on the way.  You are OK in that moment.  You will be OK in the next.  Make the best of whatever the moment is, and if a cookie is the way to make it through-  Go For It and love yourself for doing it. 

More Than One Day

I try to take life just one day at a time
...but lately several days have attacked me at once.  (Life as I see it- Feel it- Live it- Welcome to it)

Wow, I don't know about you, but this is surely true for me at times, particularly lately.  Very few of my days lately have been even close to boring or peaceful.  What little time I had between work, caring for the home, church obligations and family needs has been added to with extra appointments, court ordered visits, medical follow-ups and additional family responsibilities.  My writing time seemed to evaporate (again) as I made other things my priority.

So how do you or I cope when this happens?  Just as we have been doing- one day at a time.  It may feel like we are asked or expected to accomplish more than can fit in a single day, but the days do still come one at a time.

What you can do is be flexible and kind to yourself. Find a moment to take a deep breath.  What would you normally be doing during a particular time which is now filled with an usual demand for your attention?  Can the normally scheduled activity be done at a later time (perhaps tomorrow) or could it even be dismissed until the next time it might already be scheduled?  Instead of trying to accomplish everything on a list of to-do items for the day, pick only the most important three (3) for the day.  Then make sure, when they are completed, to congratulate or reward yourself for a job well done.  (My favorite mini reward is a small piece of chocolate or a handful of nuts.)  Stay focused on what you can do with your resources and time rather than stressing over what you can't accomplish.   Change your perception of what your day holds.  Instead of being irritated you have to drive across town to attend a meeting, choose to enjoy the opportunity to listen to music on the radio or ten minutes of quiet you have been wishing for the past few days.  Do something simple just for you.   (Today I chose to wear a different perfume and put a clip in my hair.)

Remember, you are not alone.  There are many of us doing just what I am suggesting for you.  Live one day at a time, the best you can, then do it again when another day comes. If looking forward to tomorrow gives you hope, go ahead.  If you can look back at yesterday and see how great you were so you can believe in you, go ahead.  The important thing is make the best of today.