Change Your Mindset - Experience Hope

This poster, which someone posted to Facebook last year, is a great reminder to think about how we talk about life as it happens to us or around us.  Do you, like I, sometimes catch yourself feeling as though there is no end to the troubles or no way you can accomplish something?  Have you ever been stuck in any of the feelings on the white squares?  I know I have, sometimes for several days at a time. If you are anything like me, those feelings and words are energy draining.   

So, what do I do? I look around me for the good. It is always there, waiting for me to acknowledge that hope exists.  Then I, as this suggests, change the words I use.  In my experience you can't describe something good in a negative way.   Once I find something good in the circumstances, hope seems to expand to crowd out the negative and gratitude soon follows  

Would you mind if I share a few examples? Thank you.    

• I don't understand why my daughter must be sick so much, it doesn't seem fair.  On the other side, isn't it wonderful that she is here as an extra source of love for other family members?
• I give up.  My books aren't selling as I want. I can't write consistently because family circumstances keep getting in the way. However, writing feels exciting. Writing is one way I can reach out to others and offer encouragement. If my words touch one person to make their day a little better my efforts are of worth.  
• I can't make this any better.  Maybe I can't today and that is okay.  If I stop, for a moment and reflect, I recognize that what I have is already of value, already good.  If it weren't I wouldn't care about changing it. The good in the moment is the belief that change is possible. 
• I'm not good at this. Really? Not good or didn't I get the result I expected.  The good is I tried and learned. I may have learned something new or I may have learned something about myself, my wants, needs or feelings.  So maybe I wasn't as good as someone else in this subject or project, but I am good at learning, and can now make an informed choice whether to continue or try something else. 

I hope you will take a few moments to think about how your words affect you and how you can change how you use words.  Challenge yourself to change your mindset from negative to positive, from limiting to encouragement.   Let me know how it works for you. 

 

 I love this poster I found on Facebook. It hit home with me because I learned a long time ago that this is the best way for me to live my life. Others may disagree with me, but I share with hope it will make a difference for you. 

For me, challenges come frequently. Most days I have no idea what the day will bring or the mood of the people in my life. Many days, just making it to the end of the day can be a challenge in itself.

One thing I have learned to do is look for the good in the day or a moment. I seldom fail when looking, at the end of the day, to find a moment I can smile about. The older child had a difficult day, full of hateful words, frustration and chaos, but between these times of trial, there was a smile when she won a game or a smile when she ate a popsicle.    The younger child may have cried about nearly everything that happened, but I remember the laughter when the "Tickle Monster" threatened to find a smile inside. Yes, the day was full of interruptions and unplanned family needs, but among the needs fulfilled there was a chance to make a difference, change a mind, give encouragement, and offer a special act of love.  Perhaps I didn't get all the work done I had planned, but I did call a friend, sent a letter to a client, researched a question and attended a writing workshop.   

Today I challenge you to live only for today. No matter how your day ends, take a moment, and find a positive thought to end the day with. Look for a single moment that was worth remembering. For some, it may be just recognizing you got up today, brushed your hair, or took one more step today than yesterday.

Oh, What the Hey..

Oh, What The Hey, Go For It Anyway!

It has been many years now since I learned this saying.  Over the years I have found myself using it many times.  When my children and grandchildren first heard me speak these words, they thought it was cute, another silly thing about grandma they could share at my funeral some day.  Years have passed since the first time they heard me utter these words, and now they laugh for a different reason, when they find themselves occasionally hearing the words of permission, trust and freedom coming from their own mouth. 

When I first heard the words, I never imagined what could happen by using them..  Now as I reflect on how often, when and where I have used these few words I understand more fully the power they hold.  Today, I feel blessed and honored that someone chose to share these few words with me.

The first time I used these words was while shopping.  I found myself looking at something I wished I could buy while at the same time giving myself a list of reasons I shouldn't or couldn't buy it (money is tight, you haven't paid all the bills yet and can't know if you will have enough, the kids need shoes or clothes more than you need this,  it is more than you planned on spending...).  Previous to learning these words, as soon as the list of reasons not to buy would begin, I would walk away, believing it was impossible and denying myself whatever pleasure I thought the item would bring for myself or others.   One day though I found these words coming to mind.  More importantly I remembered being challenged to try out the words and see what happened.  So I said the words out loud - "What the Hey, Go For It Anyway" and bought the item.  I don't remember what it was, I know it wasn't something big.  What I do remember is the feeling of joy at doing something good for myself.  The world did not end because I bought something extra.  The children did not go without dinner because I had used an extra few dollars that day.  I was not struck by lightning for making a bad decision or being selfish. 

I began to use the words in other circumstances.  "What The Hey, Go For It Anyway" meant it was OK to buy a pair of shoes as well as the pair of boots for one of the children even if I didn't know how I was going to pay the electric bill the following week.  The words meant the children and I went to a movie even though I was worried about money because my employment contract was ending soon.   I used the words as permission to take a risk in submitting resumes to larger corporations than I had worked with in the past.    Each time I used the phrase, I found things seemed to work out.  If I spent a few dollars more here I found I chose to save a few dollars somewhere else.  If I spent time doing something I liked, I spent less time worrying about what I couldn't do.   Taking an employment risk was hard but I learned a new business skill. 

Through the years I have learned over and over the power of these few words -"What The Hey, Go For It Anyway".  It means trusting that things will work out even if you do not understand how or when.   It means trusting that taking a risk will bring unexpected results.   These words remind one it is OK to have belief in and put  trust in a higher power, energy, knowledge or source of strength.   These words allow a person to trust and believe in  himself,.  These words give permission to experience freedom,  to relax, to stop worrying and to let go.  They empower someone to reach out for something higher, something new.  These words contain the energy to move, run, play, try, progress and grow.

It is my wish today to pass these words on to you. I encourage you to use them at least once during the next week.  See if these simple few words will make a difference in your life.  I know they have in mine. 

You Have Changed

"When someone says 'You've Changed' it simply means you've stopped living your life their way." Unknown

When someone says you have changed it means you have not stood still, in some way you have chosen to move.  What change you have made, good or bad, is a matter of perspective, either your own or the other person's.  

Change is about moving.  Change is about making decisions.  Change is about not doing what has been done before.  Change is always positive, even if it leads in a different direction then we believe it should, because change is about doing something rather than doing nothing at all. Change is creation in action, the making of something new or different. 

If someone decides you have changed, it is up to them to decide what they want to do.  Some people may decide the change is an improvement, cheering and supporting as you make more changes.  They may even make changes in their own life based on your example or direction.  Other people may decide if you aren't going to continue your life as they think you should, they can no longer approve of your choices or be your friend.  Some may feel it is better to sever ties than deal with their own feelings of not being more like you.   Whatever someone else decides, allow them to make the change they feel they must. Just as change is important for  you, the change they decide to make may be just important for them at the time.

So go ahead and change.  Make changes which make you feel good.  Make a change that brings a new result.  Make a change that moves you closer to a dream.  Make a change only you can make.  Live your life your way not the way someone else thinks you should.