Change Your Mindset - Experience Hope

This poster, which someone posted to Facebook last year, is a great reminder to think about how we talk about life as it happens to us or around us.  Do you, like I, sometimes catch yourself feeling as though there is no end to the troubles or no way you can accomplish something?  Have you ever been stuck in any of the feelings on the white squares?  I know I have, sometimes for several days at a time. If you are anything like me, those feelings and words are energy draining.   

So, what do I do? I look around me for the good. It is always there, waiting for me to acknowledge that hope exists.  Then I, as this suggests, change the words I use.  In my experience you can't describe something good in a negative way.   Once I find something good in the circumstances, hope seems to expand to crowd out the negative and gratitude soon follows  

Would you mind if I share a few examples? Thank you.    

• I don't understand why my daughter must be sick so much, it doesn't seem fair.  On the other side, isn't it wonderful that she is here as an extra source of love for other family members?
• I give up.  My books aren't selling as I want. I can't write consistently because family circumstances keep getting in the way. However, writing feels exciting. Writing is one way I can reach out to others and offer encouragement. If my words touch one person to make their day a little better my efforts are of worth.  
• I can't make this any better.  Maybe I can't today and that is okay.  If I stop, for a moment and reflect, I recognize that what I have is already of value, already good.  If it weren't I wouldn't care about changing it. The good in the moment is the belief that change is possible. 
• I'm not good at this. Really? Not good or didn't I get the result I expected.  The good is I tried and learned. I may have learned something new or I may have learned something about myself, my wants, needs or feelings.  So maybe I wasn't as good as someone else in this subject or project, but I am good at learning, and can now make an informed choice whether to continue or try something else. 

I hope you will take a few moments to think about how your words affect you and how you can change how you use words.  Challenge yourself to change your mindset from negative to positive, from limiting to encouragement.   Let me know how it works for you. 

 

Doing Your Best

"If you are doing your best, you won't have any time to worry about failure." - H. Jackson Brown.

The first thing I note in this quote is that we have to be "doing".   It doesn't say we can just be wishing, hoping, waiting or trying.  It says we must be doing our best. We must be engaged in something. 

Second, it doesn't define what best is.  It says "your best" and the only one that can measure "your best" is you. Every person is unique. Everyone has their own personal measure of when they are best in a particular area. Even individually, best is not the same in all areas of our life.  One definition for best is "that which is the most excellent, outstanding, or desirable". Anytime you find yourself saying "I can do better" take it as a personal clue you are not performing at your best.  Then step up, do more and enjoy the pleasure of feeling you are outstanding.   

Third, if you are doing your best you cannot be experiencing failure.  Best is defined as "that which is the most excellent, outstanding, or desirable."   Failure is defined as "lack of success" or "omission of expected or required action".   Excellence and lack cannot exist at the same time.  Anytime you are doing your best, by your own definition, you are succeeding.  If you are doing your best you are acting excellent, which means you are performing expected or required action.   

Remember, that the word best is often a comparative term.  Be careful to avoid comparing yourself to others.  As I said, no one can define "your best" but you. No two people can be best at the same thing, but two people can be doing their best in the same area and both be considered excellent.  It is okay for two people to be doing their best and not be at the same level of excellence.  One person, such as a concert pianist,  may have had years of practice, opportunities and skill building experience and his personal best is personally defined at a high level of performance.  The second person, a beginning music student,  may be taking the first steps to developing the skill or talent and his best is exactly what he is presently doing with the learning and practice he now has.

Don't be discouraged by people who say you can never be or be at "your best".  Remember that "you best" is also a measure of where you are at one particular moment.  Being best right now does not mean you cannot or should not improve or change.  The definition of better as "more excellently or effectively" offers the hope.  You may be excellent at what you are doing today.  Tomorrow or the next, with time and practice you may become more excellent and your personal best may reach a new lever.  On the other hand, tomorrow may bring challenges and different circumstances. Your benchmark may shift to a lower level, but still be considered excellent. The track star running on a dry field may have a record of two minutes for today, but his best time may be closer to three minutes tomorrow and still be considered excellent or his best because tomorrow the track was muddy and slippery after the rain,

My encouragement to you is to strive to be your best at whatever you are doing or whoever you are at this time   Don't worry if you do not perform or act as someone else you see or hear about.   Decide each day what is your best for that day, and enjoy being or doing the best you can in any moment.  Look at your accomplishments today.  Remember success and failure cannot coexist. 

A Part of Your Life



 wwwgoodmorningquote.com/letting-go-quotes-images/

"The only thing that makes it a part of your life is that you keep thinking about it."

 

In reviewing a list of quotes, this one stood out for me because I knew it was true.  Recently a series of moments, during what I would call a less than perfect day, left me feeling depressed, frustrated, unhappy and questioning my decision and who I thought I was..  I kept thinking,  about the day, consciously or unconsciously, allowing myself to stay in that same frame of mind, each day getting more depressed and lower in my self-esteem.   

The first thing I had to do was to realize  I was holding on to the experience by thinking and analyzing whether I should or shouldn't feel the way I was. The thing which was triggering my thinking was a dent in my new car.   I couldn't change the dent, but I could change my perspective or thinking about it.  Instead of viewing the dent as a reminder of something wrong, a bad day or unusual choices I needed to allow it to be simply what it was a dent.   I could continue to dwell on all the reasons it had occurred or stop thinking and let it be a moment in life, something that occurred but didn't make a lot of difference as life and time moved on.  Just as the dent was a minor flaw on an otherwise smooth metal surface, so the experience was just a wrinkle in the otherwise smooth flow of good days I had been enjoying and the ones that followed.  

The dent has not disappeared, but my depression, lowered self-esteem and feeling of frustration have.  I no longer dwell on what I should or could have done differently that particular day.  Now, if I happen to notice the dent, it serves as a reminder to let the small things in life be small and enjoy the abundance of good things and wonderful moments I experience everyday. 

The choice is yours. Are you going to allow something negative to remain by continuing to dwell on and think about it or let it go so something better can become a part of your life?