In Three Words

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life - It Goes On." - Robert Frost

It certainly does.  Life goes on whether we want it to or not.  Sometimes we are glad it moves and other times we may regret that it moves so quickly.  Yet no matter what we wish, it continues to go on with or without our permission or opinions.

So what do we do about it?  We allow it to go on while doing the best we can in each given moment.  We allow ourselves to be whoever and whatever we are at the time, whether it is our best, worst or average.  We don't judge either the moment or ourselves as good or bad. We allow life to go on, understanding and knowing that in the end it really doesn't matter because, since life does go on, there is always another chance, another beginning or even another ending coming.

You are proof that life does go on and that whatever it takes or brings along with it is OK.  How can I say this?  Because you and I are OK.  We are living our lives individually and alongside each other.  We may have different experiences, perspectives, ideas and beliefs, but we have all experience growth due to the movement of time.  We have grown from infants to toddlers to children to teens and become either a young or older adult.  None of us were able to stop life from going forward in our past anymore than we can now stop it from continuing now.  So we might as well enjoy the journey and move along with life as it unfolds.  Take the time to enjoy and remember moments, for when life seems to be moving too fast it will be those moments and memories that will make it OK. 

Enjoy the Little Things - Now

Enjoy the little things in life…for one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things. (Robert Brault)

I can truly echo this statement, for through my own experiences I have learned the importance of looking for and enjoying the little things as they happen.  We cannot recapture the moments and time moves forward whether we want it to or not.  What we do not appreciate and enjoy now can only be remembered later. 

Even when we know we should be enjoying the little things we do not always do so.  We may be so focused on something else in the moment that we barely react.  A mother, busy tying a shoe for a toddler may offer her cheek for a goodbye kiss from a spouse or another child as they leave, accepting the action as something small and routine for each of them.  The underlying steady love, appreciation and support may not fully be appreciated until later, when the children or spouse are no longer willing or present to share their love on a daily basis.

In our busy, active lives we schedule the activities and appointments that demand our attention or we are afraid may be forgotten.  While these places to be and things to do seem of the most importance, it is really the small things, unwritten, occurring between the lines that end up being the big things, the things remembered. .  Making sure you get the child to the game on time is important, right now, but what he will remember isn’t whether you made it early or late, but rather the talks that occurred during those rides or the ice cream after a loss.   Your daughter won’t remember whether you were late for a parent-teacher conference or a dance lesson but she will remember hearing you express your pride in her for the talents and skills you know she has. 

Sometimes it is our perceptions that hamper us from enjoying the little things.  As a mother, you pick up the crayons and torn crumpled piece of paper with what to your adult eyes appears to be nothing more than scribbles of lines and shapes with no meaning.  To you it is simply another piece of paper to be thrown away, until the little boy comes running in.  He is excited you found his drawing and boisterously explains what the lines, spaces, shapes and colors represent. A small piece of paper changes, with understanding, into his masterpiece for the day, a true work of art to be cherished.

 As our lives change we realize some of the small things we may have taken for granted in the past.   A frazzled mother, surrounded by screaming toddlers racing past her, looks back to a time when they slept peacefully for hours at a time, or forward a few hours to the hope of the quiet after bedtime.  The father who reluctantly played catch with a little boy one night now stands surrounded by the trophies the gift of a few minutes resulted in.  An aging grandparent reminisces about days of cookie covered tables, paper creations and chocolate covered faces as she listens on the phone to a grandchild tell her about his latest school project. 

At times we simply do not appreciate the little things until we recognize that the small things we take for granted are or would be the big things to someone else.  A father complains about how expensive it is to feed and clothe a child until the childless couple next door asks if  he will allow them to be a Secret Friend because they just want to share their love with the children they know and care about.   A mother apologizes for the crayon and sticky fingerprints on the wall  and the toys on the floor until  the visitor she thought she needed to impress begins crying and explains she lost a child to illness and wishes she could experience the wonder of wall art, growth prints and learning objects again. 

Whether small or big, I encourage us all to experience these things now.  Enjoy the moments of your life now, and reflect joyfully on them later.   

A Part of Your Life



 wwwgoodmorningquote.com/letting-go-quotes-images/

"The only thing that makes it a part of your life is that you keep thinking about it."

 

In reviewing a list of quotes, this one stood out for me because I knew it was true.  Recently a series of moments, during what I would call a less than perfect day, left me feeling depressed, frustrated, unhappy and questioning my decision and who I thought I was..  I kept thinking,  about the day, consciously or unconsciously, allowing myself to stay in that same frame of mind, each day getting more depressed and lower in my self-esteem.   

The first thing I had to do was to realize  I was holding on to the experience by thinking and analyzing whether I should or shouldn't feel the way I was. The thing which was triggering my thinking was a dent in my new car.   I couldn't change the dent, but I could change my perspective or thinking about it.  Instead of viewing the dent as a reminder of something wrong, a bad day or unusual choices I needed to allow it to be simply what it was a dent.   I could continue to dwell on all the reasons it had occurred or stop thinking and let it be a moment in life, something that occurred but didn't make a lot of difference as life and time moved on.  Just as the dent was a minor flaw on an otherwise smooth metal surface, so the experience was just a wrinkle in the otherwise smooth flow of good days I had been enjoying and the ones that followed.  

The dent has not disappeared, but my depression, lowered self-esteem and feeling of frustration have.  I no longer dwell on what I should or could have done differently that particular day.  Now, if I happen to notice the dent, it serves as a reminder to let the small things in life be small and enjoy the abundance of good things and wonderful moments I experience everyday. 

The choice is yours. Are you going to allow something negative to remain by continuing to dwell on and think about it or let it go so something better can become a part of your life? 

You Can't Forget Them

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"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met." Unknown.







slodive.com

 I have  seen some posts on social media lately about forgetting people, especially those who have hurt us in some way.  I understand the pain these people are expressing, for I have too many times felt exactly as they do.. I wish I could say forgetting someone was easy, however I have not found it so for myself. 

These few quotes explain far better than I that forgetting someone who has been a part of or touched our lives, whether for good or bad, is not easy.  With some we may not ever want to forget.  With others, we may not have liked the experience at times, but there is always something we learned, a way we have grown or somehow changed because of their presence.

 No matter how much you want or even try to forget, there will still be moments which come that will remind you of them.  It may be clear memory, or a hazy moment you relive quickly.  It may be something you do you began when you knew them or something you have only done since that reminds you.they were once part of your life.  It may even be a tear shed or a smile which suddenly overcomes you at an odd moment with an unexpected thought.

So what do you do when these moments occur?  Take a deep breath and savor the moment.  Let the thought come and go, trusting there was a reason it was there.  Recognize and be grateful in that moment for something about them which made a difference in you.  Give yourself credit for surviving, growing, loving or learning through the experience of knowing them.  Silently wish them well wherever they may be and feel good about where you are. Feel the beauty and love you have now.