Stress Less - Trust More

Yesterday I was informed that my well paying job is definitely going to end in the next few months.  The first step is that my hours are cut by more tan half to only 20 hours a week. Then the job will be phased out in the next few weeks or months.  I could see the signs but hoped we could find a different solution (more contract work, more research to support sales, assisting marketing, QA testing of the new features...).  

Because I am not typical, and my first thought was how this would affect others, I went to the sales manager of our branch office to let him know the schedule change so he could work with the other members of his sales team in scheduling when contracts can be sent and prepared.  (You see one of the things some of my co-workers and employer have never fully grasped, is that one of my greatest work strengths is that I think and care about what is best for the company before I think about what is best for me.)

Then I began to stress.  How am I going to pay the bills with only half a salary?  I can barely make ends meet now?  I have used up all my savings, so there is nothing to fall back on.  My net income with the reduced salary will barely cover the mortgage payment, so how am I going to pay utilities, car payment, insurances, etc?    I am at the age when most people are retiring, but I have just committed to raising a four and five year old for many years to come.  The job market for people my age is limited as many employers are hesitant to hire older people.  Yesterday there were a lot of things I could think of to stress over, these being only a few thoughts.

However, as I have learned, the best thing that stress does is get our mind moving.  It is our choice which way we let the stress direct us.  Stress can lead to depression, despair, a feeling of uselessness or failure, feelings of loneliness or looking for ways to numb the pain and thoughts. On the other hand stress can also lead to improvements, self-evaluation, changes, new ideas, different actions, new decisions and creativity.  Part of the reason I can clearly see both options is that I have traveled both sides many times, and have learned, at least for myself, it is okay to feel the stress, even to experience the despair and negative thoughts for a short period, as long as in the end I choose to walk, march or even run down the side that leads to new opportunities and choices.

So at this moment in life I get to choose.  Today my choice is to trust more.  I choose to trust that the situation is/will be for my benefit and the benefit of my family in the end. I trust that a higher source (my Father in Heaven) knows what lies ahead and will bless me and my family as needed.   I choose to trust that I will be able to find ways to work within what financial means I am still blessed with.  I choose to trust I am wise enough to make good choices and strong enough to make the choices work.  I choose to trust my family to understand that changes may need to be made in responsibilities, time and effort by them as well as myself.  I trust that as I open myself to learning and new ideas the teachers/mentors will appear,  I will recognize them as such and trust their advice or guidance.

I invite you to journey with me as I remember, share and practice life skills as I move through the next few weeks.  Together I know all will be well.

More Than One Day

I try to take life just one day at a time
...but lately several days have attacked me at once.  (Life as I see it- Feel it- Live it- Welcome to it)

Wow, I don't know about you, but this is surely true for me at times, particularly lately.  Very few of my days lately have been even close to boring or peaceful.  What little time I had between work, caring for the home, church obligations and family needs has been added to with extra appointments, court ordered visits, medical follow-ups and additional family responsibilities.  My writing time seemed to evaporate (again) as I made other things my priority.

So how do you or I cope when this happens?  Just as we have been doing- one day at a time.  It may feel like we are asked or expected to accomplish more than can fit in a single day, but the days do still come one at a time.

What you can do is be flexible and kind to yourself. Find a moment to take a deep breath.  What would you normally be doing during a particular time which is now filled with an usual demand for your attention?  Can the normally scheduled activity be done at a later time (perhaps tomorrow) or could it even be dismissed until the next time it might already be scheduled?  Instead of trying to accomplish everything on a list of to-do items for the day, pick only the most important three (3) for the day.  Then make sure, when they are completed, to congratulate or reward yourself for a job well done.  (My favorite mini reward is a small piece of chocolate or a handful of nuts.)  Stay focused on what you can do with your resources and time rather than stressing over what you can't accomplish.   Change your perception of what your day holds.  Instead of being irritated you have to drive across town to attend a meeting, choose to enjoy the opportunity to listen to music on the radio or ten minutes of quiet you have been wishing for the past few days.  Do something simple just for you.   (Today I chose to wear a different perfume and put a clip in my hair.)

Remember, you are not alone.  There are many of us doing just what I am suggesting for you.  Live one day at a time, the best you can, then do it again when another day comes. If looking forward to tomorrow gives you hope, go ahead.  If you can look back at yesterday and see how great you were so you can believe in you, go ahead.  The important thing is make the best of today. 

The Time is Yours

Oregon Coast

Recently I took a trip with some family members.  It was during some time, sitting on the beach as the little ones played in the sand, I had a chance to think about how the time away from the office and home was a gift I had given myself.   As I thought about this, I reflected on the time we each have each day and the opportunities we have to 'use it or lose it'.  So today I want to share some of these thoughts with you. 
You have a gift that is yours.  Each day you are given 24 hours, commonly called a day to start, continue or end whatever you choose.  You receive the same 24 hours that I do, yet neither of us can give it away to each other or to anyone else. You might share your time with another at a given moment when they are open to sharing their time with you,  Time is not something you can hold in your hand, yet it is as valuable Io your life as breath. 
No one can tell you how to use the hours as they tick away. The choices for each hour are yours alone.  The choices you make of how to use the hours are as uncountable as the seconds and minutes of each hour as they combine into a day.  The choices you make, will at times be similar to mine or someone else's and at other times as different as night is from day. The choices you make will seldom be the same as you made the day before or will likely make tomorrow, yet each choice makes a difference.
The time is yours to use wisely or foolishly, although which it is depends on your perspective or belief.  Floating around in a swimming pool may seem foolish on a day you feel there is not enough time to get everything completed you need or because you are simply in avoidance of something you don;t want to deal with.   Yet floating in the pool on another day may be a wise choice in order overcome the stress of a particularly challenging day.
What will you do with this gift today?  Will you spend it alone, doing something you have been wishing to but didn't think you had the time?  Will you spend it with family or friends in work or play together?  Will you complete a special project at work that will bring you recongnition or financial reward?   Will you be thankful for the time you receive or spend it feeling sorry there is not more angry because someone else is not using their gift the way you think they should.
The time is yours.   Use it as you like. May you enjoy the gift of today.  May you look forward to another gift of time tomorrow.