Want It More

"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it." - Bill Cosby

What do you want?  Do you want to learn new skills?  Do you want to change a habit?   do you want to meet someone? Do you want to try something you have never tried before?  Do you want to buy something?  Do you want to go somewhere?  Do you want to change employment?  Do you want to start your own business?  Do you want to share with someone? 

We all have wants.  Wants may appear in many forms.  We may get an idea, have a dream, feel a yearning, make a wish or see something we hadn't noticed or thought about before.  Some days they wait patiently to be acknowledged.  Other days they demand to be noticed, felt or acted upon.  Rarely, once acknowledged, if not acted upon, they will slip away and be replaced by a new want. More often, if not acted upon, wants have a tendency to make us feel uneasy, unhappy or uncomfortable with what we presently have or what we are presently doing. They push us to try, experiment, move, reach out, expand, learn and grow.

There may be many reasons we do not act to fulfill our wants and wishes.  One of the biggest reasons I have heard from people I know, and I face myself, is fear.  I have heard fear defined as "False Evidence Appearing Real".  My Merriam Webster Dictionary defines fear as "an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat". However you define pain, it is something that often gets in our way of acting on or fulfilling our wants and wishes to have, to be, to improve or to accomplish something of worth, value or excellence.  

The advice above has come to mind many times over the past year as I have been faced with challenges and decisions.  I wanted a new home of our own.  My biggest fear was that I would get locked into a mortgage and then be unable to pay for it in the future because of a change in income.  I had to decide that I wanted a home we could call our own more than I was afraid of the possibility of change of employment or means of supporting my family.  As a result we were blessed to find a wonderful home we all enjoy.   Just this month I had to decide joining a local writing group and learning from other writers was more important to me than the fear of rejection or misunderstanding. 
As a result I enjoyed a wonderful writer's conference and met some people I am eager to have more contact with. 

I encourage you today to empower yourself. Look at the things you want, decide what is most important to you right now and then push through the wall of fear that has blocked your way.  Want it more than you are afraid. You deserve to enjoy the pleasures, growth and excitement that will come your way.  . 

Enjoy the Little Things - Now

Enjoy the little things in life…for one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things. (Robert Brault)

I can truly echo this statement, for through my own experiences I have learned the importance of looking for and enjoying the little things as they happen.  We cannot recapture the moments and time moves forward whether we want it to or not.  What we do not appreciate and enjoy now can only be remembered later. 

Even when we know we should be enjoying the little things we do not always do so.  We may be so focused on something else in the moment that we barely react.  A mother, busy tying a shoe for a toddler may offer her cheek for a goodbye kiss from a spouse or another child as they leave, accepting the action as something small and routine for each of them.  The underlying steady love, appreciation and support may not fully be appreciated until later, when the children or spouse are no longer willing or present to share their love on a daily basis.

In our busy, active lives we schedule the activities and appointments that demand our attention or we are afraid may be forgotten.  While these places to be and things to do seem of the most importance, it is really the small things, unwritten, occurring between the lines that end up being the big things, the things remembered. .  Making sure you get the child to the game on time is important, right now, but what he will remember isn’t whether you made it early or late, but rather the talks that occurred during those rides or the ice cream after a loss.   Your daughter won’t remember whether you were late for a parent-teacher conference or a dance lesson but she will remember hearing you express your pride in her for the talents and skills you know she has. 

Sometimes it is our perceptions that hamper us from enjoying the little things.  As a mother, you pick up the crayons and torn crumpled piece of paper with what to your adult eyes appears to be nothing more than scribbles of lines and shapes with no meaning.  To you it is simply another piece of paper to be thrown away, until the little boy comes running in.  He is excited you found his drawing and boisterously explains what the lines, spaces, shapes and colors represent. A small piece of paper changes, with understanding, into his masterpiece for the day, a true work of art to be cherished.

 As our lives change we realize some of the small things we may have taken for granted in the past.   A frazzled mother, surrounded by screaming toddlers racing past her, looks back to a time when they slept peacefully for hours at a time, or forward a few hours to the hope of the quiet after bedtime.  The father who reluctantly played catch with a little boy one night now stands surrounded by the trophies the gift of a few minutes resulted in.  An aging grandparent reminisces about days of cookie covered tables, paper creations and chocolate covered faces as she listens on the phone to a grandchild tell her about his latest school project. 

At times we simply do not appreciate the little things until we recognize that the small things we take for granted are or would be the big things to someone else.  A father complains about how expensive it is to feed and clothe a child until the childless couple next door asks if  he will allow them to be a Secret Friend because they just want to share their love with the children they know and care about.   A mother apologizes for the crayon and sticky fingerprints on the wall  and the toys on the floor until  the visitor she thought she needed to impress begins crying and explains she lost a child to illness and wishes she could experience the wonder of wall art, growth prints and learning objects again. 

Whether small or big, I encourage us all to experience these things now.  Enjoy the moments of your life now, and reflect joyfully on them later.   

Starting the Next Chapter

"You can't start the next chapter in your life if you keep re-reading the last one." Unknown

There are so many ways of interpreting this, but today is a good day to think about what it could mean for you. 

Picture attribution: Pixaby free images

Life is all about growing, learning and changing.  Each of these words imply a sense of moving.  Generally it involves moving toward something new, something different or something unexpected.  Occasionally it may mean repeating something in order to make a better decision or find a better solution to a situation.  One thing about life is for sure, it goes on, with or without your permission, all around you.  The next day, the next chapter, or the next experience is waiting for you.

The last chapter of your life happened. You may have laughed or you may have cried. You may have been alone or had someone important to you supporting or loving you through. You may have failed or you may have succeeded.  You may have found some rest or worked your hardest.  You may have forgotten or you may have remembered something or someone that made a difference for you.  You may have learned something new or remembered you already knew what you needed to make it through this chapter.  Whatever happened or wherever you ended up, you finished.  Congratulations.

Like the student who just graduated, you are at a new starting point.  You have been coached, taught and encouraged. You have been presented with a myriad of lessons and experiences which assisted you in learning the skills, gaining the knowledge or improving your abilities needed to begin the next chapter or next phase of life. You have been prepared.  Just like the student you may feel uneasy about what the future holds.  Like the student, you may want to just remain as you are.  You like who you are at this moment.  Facing the unknown holds the possibility of events or experiences which may change you.  Like the student, you may want to hold tightly to the relationships of friends and teachers and the security of structured/planned days.  Instead of moving on you try to keep what you have, or re-read the last chapter hoping to find all the answers instead of turning the page.

Today is the beginning of your next chapter.  It might be only a new day or it may be a new month. Perhaps you are at a crossroad, ready to make a choice of which new path to take.  Perhaps you have experienced a recent life event such as marriage, the birth of a new child and you now have someone new to share joys and sorrows with.  You may have just experience the loss of a companion through divorce or death and now must move forward without the thought of including them in decisions.  Are you the one starting a new job or a facing an opportunity you thought would never come your way?   Whoever you are, what ever your circumstances and wherever you are at this moment, now is your time to turn the page.  It is time to start a new chapter only you can write.  

More Life Skills

Bridge of Skills, besides being the name of this blog,  is the name of the book I just officially published in 2013.  Written several years ago, I share life skills, abilities and thinking I have found valuable and felt impressed to share with others.  

Through the years I have had many opportunities to evaluate this experience called life.  I have met and been taught by many people.   Like you, grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren have influenced my life.  I have been blessed, as many of you, with associates, mentors and teachers whom have increased my knowledge and ability to make wise, responsible choices.    I have also, because of family circumstances, had the opportunity to learn from therapists, doctors, social workers and even judges personal abilities and ways of choosing which I could call life skills. 

I hope you will join me as I share some of these skills, thoughts and lessons with you and others.  I invite you to share with friends and acquaintance the things you find of value and interest.  For in sharing we build bridges that connect us one with another. 

 If you have any ideas of what you would like to learn more about, please let me know.  Below are a few subjects which friends have asked me to share more thoughts about.  Life is seldom planned and doesn't always go as expected, so I am sure these are only a few of the subjects which will be discussed here and there may be no sense to the order other than inspiration or experiences which are pertinent for the moments as they come.   What I can promise is I will share from my heart and with genuine caring.
 

• Attitude
• Behaviors
• Character/Ethics
• Communication
• Compassion/Empathy
• Choices
• Courtesy
• Dealing w/Anger
• Fairness
• Forgiveness
• Goal-setting/Purpose
• Gratitude
• Hope
• Honesty/Integrity
• Kindness/Caring
• Overcoming Obstacles
• Patience
• Respect
• Responsibility
• Stress Management
• Trustworthiness

...and much more