Mindfulness- A New Idea?

 In a mental health class I took with one of my grandchildren several years ago, Mindfulness was described as the practice of being fully present in the moment, paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment.  It was a state of active/inactive attention to the present, without regard to the future or the past.  Mindfulness was the ability to be fully present, aware of where you are, what you are doing, while not being overly reactive or overwhelmed by what is going on around you.  

The reason for learning this as a skill, in this particular class, was the idea Mindfulness helps improve mental well-being, and enhances focus and self-awareness.  The goal of practicing mindfulness as taught, was to reduce depression and anxiety symptoms and increase a feeling of self-control and well-being. 

I am not sure when the term "Mindfulness" came about.  My first reaction in hearing the term was wonder.  Was this a new skill?  A new idea? An idea of coping with life I hadn't learned before?  The answer, for me, was a resounding "No."  It was just a different way of looking at or describing what many people describe as a way to slow down, reduce stress or cope with pressures of everyday life. Enjoying the moment was something I did without consciously thinking about it or analyzing what I was doing or why.  Some days I did it often, other days perhaps only one or twice.  It wasn't something I planned in advance or scheduled into my day.  Enjoying the moment happened when moments might be seen as less than ideal.  It happened when I felt like crying because I felt overwhelmed with 5 children all demanding attention at the same time- a toddler pulling on my leg, siblings fighting, a baby crying and another calling "Mama" and another asking for help to tie a shoe.  In that moment I would stop, take a deep breath.  Perhaps say a quick prayer for patience and express gratitude for being a mother and for each child.  I might focus on the smell of a flower in a vase nearby, the sounds of innocence, the feel of a small hand, the belief of each child that I could solve their particular problem or look at a favored toy on the floor that represented love.  It only took a moment or two, yet I could then face the chaos with a laugh or a sigh, knowing that I could handle it all and I was OK.  

It doesn't matter what you call it - a skill, a tool, a coping mechanism, a trick.  It doesn't matter whether you call it mindfulness, stop & go, time out or enjoying the moment.  What does matter is that you do it as you feel the need.  In a moment experience something relaxing, calming, peaceful.  Savor a taste, enjoy a smell, listen to a sound, see something of worth, feel something of value or bless yourself with a form of self-love like a deep breath and relaxation. Find what works for you in the moment and know that whatever you choose to experience in the moment is exactly perfect for you.  

I love you and wish you well this day. 

Cultivating an Attitude of Happiness

Happiness cannot really be defined.  It is a state of being or a feeling we each decide for ourselves.  Since we are all unique and special  we each define and seek happiness differently.     What makes me feel happy may or may not be on someone else's list  or give them the exact same warm, fuzzy feeling(s).  What someone else feels is needed before they can say they are happy may be something I have not even thought of or doesn't seem important to me.

Happiness is generally defined as "a feeling of being happy."  What happy is for each of us is just as undefinable, but is often seen as a moment of enjoyment.   That enjoyment may encompass a variety of other pleasant feelings, including (among other feelings): peace, joy, cheerfulness, satisfaction and pleasure.  Happiness is changeable.  What we define as happiness one day may, based on circumstances, feel like something we are still seeking the next day.

While happiness is hard to pin down, we each still seek to find and hold on to that state of being or feeling.  Happiness is an attitude we choose to adopt.  Our end goals or perceptions may vary but the things we do to find  personal happiness are often very similar.  Below is a list of a few things I have found are common ways we cultivate happiness.  I feel certain, if you are or have experienced happiness, whether the feeling was short or lingering, you used one or more of these life skills.

1. 1. Savor the moment - experience one positive moment.  No matter what else seems to be going on, look for and find one thing that makes the moment memorable. 
2. Connect with others - experiencing the support from or a connection with another person can make problems more bearable or put concerns and worries in perspective
3. Curtail comparisons - stop judging yourself or others based on what you think you see.  Let go of what you think is perfect.
4. Practice non-judgemental awareness - Remember we are all doing our best in the moment  Give yourself and others a break. 
5. Cultivate realistic thinking-  Balance your thoughts and thinking.  Be aware of the possibility of outcomes but also realize and know you have coping skills to deal with, overcome or even avoid those outcomes 
6. Develop self-care practices - Take care of yourself.  Integrate habits and routines in your life which keep you healthy,  both physically, mentally and spiritually.
7. Simplify - Choose easy. Reinvent your life to decrease stress and personal pressures. 
8. Have fun and laugh -   Allow yourself the freedom to enjoy-  Read or tell a joke.  Decide to do something out of the ordinary.  Play a game, run a race, watch a  parade or simply go for a walk.  
9. Share Gratitude- Recognize what you already have- Thank someone for something they have done. Look for and see the good that already exists for and around you. 
10. Live a meaningful and authentic life - Be true to yourself and your values. Be who you are, not who you or someone else thinks you should be. 

Cultivate Happiness in your life.  Dig  down in your thoughts and plan the garden you would like to enjoy.  Plant seeds of satisfaction and gratitude.  Nurture and care about your feelings, wishes and desires.  Allow time for growth.  Weed out the negative. Watch for the buds to appear and celebrate the opening petals of joy.    Then enjoy the beauty of happiness. 

Express Gratitude

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it:" - Unknown

I have found this quote several times during the last week while browsing the internet as part of a personal project at work.  Each time I read it brings to mind something I have not expressed gratitude for lately.  It is a reminder to me to notice and express pleasure in little things that happen I may not do otherwise.  There is encouragement in this quote to share and talk with others about the positive things in life.

Gratitude begins with a feeling of appreciation  which until it is expressed in some manner, be it through song, written word or verbal announcement, it stays within.  We can choose to stay focused inside ourselves or decide to reach out and share with others.  This is the moment when the feeling turns from appreciation to gratitude, h from a recognition of something pleasant to being thankful.   The next natural step is the joy that comes from allowing someone else, in even a small way, to share your happiness and perhaps be encouraged to look at their own circumstances for blessings and the good they are surrounded by. 

I encourage you to take a few moments to reflect on your life. What are the things you enjoy doing, having or learning?  Who are the people that make a difference in or touch your life?  What talents, skills or special knowledge do you have?  What activities do you participate in that make your life better, richer or more meaningful?  What things do you own or use that someone else might not have or would like to have?  Are there places you go that bring you pleasure?  Do you believe in a higher source of power, inspiration or guidance? How is your health or how do the systems and parts of your body work from day to day? 

Now find a way to express the feelings you have.  Write a poem.  Dance with a family member.  Sing a song.  Tell someone you care.  Send a letter to someone.  Draw a picture.  Shout out your feelings.  Express your thoughts in prayer.  However you choose to do it, enjoy and give away the gift of gratitude.