Mindfulness- A New Idea?

 In a mental health class I took with one of my grandchildren several years ago, Mindfulness was described as the practice of being fully present in the moment, paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment.  It was a state of active/inactive attention to the present, without regard to the future or the past.  Mindfulness was the ability to be fully present, aware of where you are, what you are doing, while not being overly reactive or overwhelmed by what is going on around you.  

The reason for learning this as a skill, in this particular class, was the idea Mindfulness helps improve mental well-being, and enhances focus and self-awareness.  The goal of practicing mindfulness as taught, was to reduce depression and anxiety symptoms and increase a feeling of self-control and well-being. 

I am not sure when the term "Mindfulness" came about.  My first reaction in hearing the term was wonder.  Was this a new skill?  A new idea? An idea of coping with life I hadn't learned before?  The answer, for me, was a resounding "No."  It was just a different way of looking at or describing what many people describe as a way to slow down, reduce stress or cope with pressures of everyday life. Enjoying the moment was something I did without consciously thinking about it or analyzing what I was doing or why.  Some days I did it often, other days perhaps only one or twice.  It wasn't something I planned in advance or scheduled into my day.  Enjoying the moment happened when moments might be seen as less than ideal.  It happened when I felt like crying because I felt overwhelmed with 5 children all demanding attention at the same time- a toddler pulling on my leg, siblings fighting, a baby crying and another calling "Mama" and another asking for help to tie a shoe.  In that moment I would stop, take a deep breath.  Perhaps say a quick prayer for patience and express gratitude for being a mother and for each child.  I might focus on the smell of a flower in a vase nearby, the sounds of innocence, the feel of a small hand, the belief of each child that I could solve their particular problem or look at a favored toy on the floor that represented love.  It only took a moment or two, yet I could then face the chaos with a laugh or a sigh, knowing that I could handle it all and I was OK.  

It doesn't matter what you call it - a skill, a tool, a coping mechanism, a trick.  It doesn't matter whether you call it mindfulness, stop & go, time out or enjoying the moment.  What does matter is that you do it as you feel the need.  In a moment experience something relaxing, calming, peaceful.  Savor a taste, enjoy a smell, listen to a sound, see something of worth, feel something of value or bless yourself with a form of self-love like a deep breath and relaxation. Find what works for you in the moment and know that whatever you choose to experience in the moment is exactly perfect for you.  

I love you and wish you well this day. 

Men and Depression

 Men and women suffer depression almost equally.  Men, however, are frequently taught that any need for help shows weakness.  Therefore, they are naturally at greater risk for depression-related illnesses and suicide because they hide what is going on from everyone, often even denying it to themselves.

Most men attempt to hide their depression by trying to cover their feelings. They may do this with drugs, alcohol, sex, or work. Depression often shows up  in men not as seeming helpless or hopeless, but as angry, frustrated, and/or other aggressive feelings. Men are generally less likely to seek treatment than women and they are less likely to admit that they have a problem. 

Depression in men is a silent battle that barely makes a rumble until the battle is over. The drugs and the smiles and the carrying on and acting hide many of the typical signs of depression from others. It's hard to pick up on the signs of depression if you are close to the person, and it's even harder if they are trying to cover the feelings up. 

If you notice that a loved one is showing any of the typical depression signs like oversleeping or not sleeping, tension, or uncontrollable anger (in the case of men) you should address the issues. Let the person know you care about them and that you are ready to listen when they are ready to talk. It's important not to push the issue or expect a solution. Sometimes,  the best thing to do is offer support, then   just let things run their course with men. 

If you are a man who is depressed, there are a few things you can do to help yourself:

• Talk about how you feel- 
• Stay active -  (Find an activity that you enjoy)
• Exercise, , Keep moving
• Give yourself a break, Allow yourself to be human 
• Find a way to relax at the end of a busy day,
• Try to eat properly
• Seek professional help when needed
• 
  

Five (5) Reasons to Not Let Depression Control You

"Depression is a common mental disorder. Globally, it is estimated that 5% of adults suffer from the disorder. It is characterized by persistent sadness and a lack of interest or pleasure in previously rewarding or enjoyable activities. It can also disturb sleep and appetite. Tiredness and poor concentration are common. Depression is a leading cause of disability around the world and contributes greatly to the global burden of disease. The effects of depression can be long-lasting or recurrent and can dramatically affect a person’s ability to function and live a rewarding life." (as defined by the World Health Organization (WHO))

As someone who has experience from personally experiencing depression during different periods of life, as well as assisting others through challenges, I have learned to be open to recognizing behaviors and thoughts which often accompany or proceed depression.   I have found many times, if we can identify the beginning of our particular cycles we can better manage the depths of despair.  I have also seen, in most cases, having a reason to stay in control  of emotions greatly increases the ability to more quickly cope and overcome feelings of depression.  Below are 5 reasons that people have identified as helpful.   

1. Family – It can be very vexing to loved one’s when you are depressed. On one hand they want nothing but the best for you, but on the other they sometimes get frustrated and wonder why you can’t simply snap out of it. It can be particularly hard on children of someone with depression as it may affect their outlook on life for many years to come. Having experienced this myself, I can say definitely this the number one reason to fight your depression.
2. Work - Work life generally suffers when in the throes of depression. It is more difficult to concentrate and not as easy to create and maintain good professional working relationships and partnerships. Furthermore, it makes being a “Self-starter” more unlikely. Rather than moving forward, maintaining the status-quo becomes more acceptable, even if only unconsciously. 
3. Love – The love life of a person with depression can suffer tremendously. Regardless of How much someone may profess their dedication to another person, if the other person can never see the bright side, it can wear on them. Life is short, right? Love conquers A WHOLE LOT, but it doesn’t conquer everything. Sometimes we must add internal fortitude to love to truly be invincible. Besides isn’t it better to fight, not just for you, but for this person that you love as well?
4. Health – University studies have proven that people who are depressed are more likely to get sick, and more likely to die of an illness than those who are content. It is in your benefit, health wise, to fight your depression as well. A recent New York Times article, citing a University study, indicated that persons who have been diagnosed as depressed have more hospital visits, and a shorter lifespan.
5. Prosperity – The depressed person sometimes lacks clarity of thought, and may miss golden opportunities to improve their lives if only they had been paying attention. This may be, perhaps, the most important point, since many people believe they would be happier if only this part of their life, or that part of their life, etc was different. Allowing good things to happen in your life might just give you the jump start needed to end the cycle of depression and self imposed-isolation (even if only figuratively).

Fighting depression can actually be a reward in many ways.  You become stronger, both mentally and physically.  As you fight and win, you feel more self-esteem.  This flows over into performing better a work.  As you feel better about yourself, you create better relationships and can focus on what is reallyimportant in life so you can improve it, for yourself, your family, friends and loved ones.